


Li'ili'i Kaikamahine

by ghostlywhitedirewolf



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-22
Updated: 2012-02-22
Packaged: 2017-10-31 13:44:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 22,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/344699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghostlywhitedirewolf/pseuds/ghostlywhitedirewolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Danny and Rachel are murdered, what will happen to Grace? Steve&Grace</p><p>*Please note: this fic was written when I was about 16. I am currently in the process of re-writing sections and re-editing it.*</p>
            </blockquote>





	Li'ili'i Kaikamahine

**Chapter 1**

5050505050

It shouldn’t have been them, Steve knew, the bomb planted in the wedding car was meant for him and Danny, not Rachel. It had taken them so long to get back together after everything that had happened between them. It had taken years to finally put the pieces of their marriage back together, and Steve had destroyed it. He was the reason for their death. He was the reason Gracie was now an orphan.

5050505050

Rachel, her mother and Danny’s mother had been in the car that had blown up. The only bridesmaid was Grace, she had rode in Steve’s truck behind with Steve, Kono and Chin after a Kamekona caused mix up with the wedding cars. Danny was already at the registry office.

The explosion happened as the car pulled up outside the building, Danny must have heard it from inside and came sprinting outside. Steve and Chin had already jumped out of the truck, instructing Kono to get Grace out of the car and take her away from it all, worried that the truck had been rigged with an explosive too.

Danny had already dived towards the wedding car along with both his Dad and Rachel’s father when the truck exploded. Directly behind the burning remains of the wedding car. The impact of the second blast sending the wedding car flying towards the three men. One of which was too close to move.

Steve saw the wedding car crush Danny, engulfing his body completely before slamming into the two fathers.

‘Danny!’ Steve roared, covering his mouth in shock, his stomach like a lead balloon.

‘Danno! Mommy!’ he heard a hysterical scream and turned to see Kono half way down the street  wrestling with Grace, who was trying to get closer to her mother and father.

‘Get her out of here!’ Steve yelled to Kono, who nodded, tears dripping down her face, before picking the little girl up in a vice hold and dragging her away.

505050505050

That day was one of the worst days of Steve’s life, losing his partner and Rachel in one day. He hadn’t known Rachel a great deal, but he has liked the woman. Wo Fat had planted the bomb, intending to kill Danny and Steve to bury any information they had about him.

Literally.

It was only the day after that Steve had been able to sit and reflect on the events that had happened.

Rachel and the two mothers had been killed instantly in the first blast, Danny when the car had crushed him; Rachel’s father had also died when the car had hit him as the trauma to his body had given him a heart attack. The only survivor was Danny’s father, who was in hospital in a critical condition. They were hopeful that he would recover but that he would be paralyzed from the waist down. He may also have suffered brain damage, after a bleed on the brain had forced the doctors to put him into an induced coma.

But that left Gracie alone. The only person being able to take care of her was Danny’s brother Matt who had disappeared and wouldn’t give Grace the care and security she needed.

Kono, Steve knew, would offer to have her; she loved the little girl as if she were her own. But Kono was so young too; she had her whole life ahead of her that she wouldn’t be able to live properly. So would Chin, but Chin had enough drama in his life without adding Grace too.

Which just left Steve. The person Danny always joked was the most terrible person with children ever.

But he couldn’t let her go into care, Steve promised himself that, he would do everything in his power to stop that from happening. Grace was Danny and Rachel’s lives, he would never forgive himself if he let her be shipped off to a care home. Gracie didn’t deserve it, not after everything she’d been through.

This was a promise Steve knew he would keep, no matter what.

5050505050

Steve walked from the Camero to the door of Kono’s parent’s house. Kono had taken Grace back to her parent’s as her apartment only had one bed, and was in no fit state to take Grace to.

Kono’s Mom answered the door before putting her fingers to her lips motioning for Steve to come in.

‘She’s finally asleep,’ the older woman whispered, bags already forming under her brown eyes.

Steve nodded and stepped into the house, closing the door almost silently behind him

Kono’s father smiled slightly at him as he came into the living room. Steve smiled back, looking around for Grace, spotting her lay across Kono’s knee.

Kono looked up at him slowly, her eyes as red as Grace’s from tears, before giving him a watery smile that broke the SEAL’s heart.

Unfortunately, the movement caused her body to tilt slightly, moving Grace’s head slightly, but enough to wake her.

‘Daddy?’ she asked in a small voice, looking up at Steve, before realisation sank in and she burst into tears, throwing herself at Steve.

‘Oh Gracie,’ Steve pressed her to him as she buried her head against his chest, lifting her into his arms like you would a toddler, before carrying her over to the sofa.

‘Steve,’ the little girl whimpered through her sobs.

Steve waited, sensing she wasn’t finished; she was just trying to get the words out through her hysteria.

‘Mommy and Danno are in heaven,’ she sobbed, her voice muffled against his chest.

‘I know sweetie, but they’re looking down on you and you have to be a brave girl. You have to be a brave little girl for Danno and Mommy. They wouldn’t want you to be sad.’ Steve soothed her, rubbing her shaking back.

‘But I'm never going to see them again or Grandma and Grandpa and Grandma Williams,’ she carried on.

‘I know, I know,’ Steve hugged her as her sobs grew louder and more hysterical.

‘I want my Mommy,’ Grace howled, clutching Steve’s shirt with more strength than he thought possible for an eight year old girl.

‘I know you do honey, we all want them too,’ Steve stroked the back of her head, aware that all eyes were on him to calm the little girl down.

When Gracie didn’t reply, Steve tightened his arms around the little girl.

‘I wanna go home,’ Grace cried, her words almost becoming a wail.

‘How about you come stay with me for a while?’ he said gently.

No reply.

‘Gracie, would you rather stay with Kono or come and stay at my house.’ He rephrased his question so that the choice would be hers.

‘I wanna stay with you Uncle Steve,’ Grace replied.

‘Okay honey,’ Steve rubbed her back again and smiled over at Kono who rubbed her eyes tiredly.

However much she loved the little girl, Kono wasn’t old enough to have to act like a mother, Steve wanted her to live her life whilst she still could.

Gracie reached up and wrapped her arms around Steve’s neck, her sobs easing and her breathing less erratic.

Steve hugged the little girl, who was all that was left of his partner.

The little girl that was the reason Danny had been here.

‘Come on sweetie, let’s go so that Kono can sleep and then catch some bad guys.’ He said picking her up.

He felt Gracie nod into his wet t-shirt as he stood up, cradling her tightly to him.

She clutched him, as though afraid that he might disappear too.

‘Steve, I want Annie,’ he heard her mutter, as sleep threatened her exhausted little body.

Steve shot Kono a puzzled look, and she mouthed ‘her doll. Dolphin trainer Annie’

‘Tell you what Gracie, I’m sure Mary will let you borrow Spotty, her toy Dalmatian and we’ll go find Dolphin trainer Annie later okay?’ Steve replied, praying that this wouldn’t set her off sobbing again.

‘Okay,’ Gracie agreed.

Steve was mildly surprised, for a little girl she was pretty reasonable.

Kono looked relieved too, she clearly had expected another outburst of hysteria.

505050505050

Steve carried Grace out to the car, strapping her in before promising her to be right back.

He went back to the front door, where Kono and her parents were watching.

‘Thank you for taking care of her,’ Steve said gratefully, rubbing his hand over his face.

‘What’s going to happen to her, Boss?’ Kono asked, concern plastered all over her face.

‘I’m not sure; I won’t let her go into care. I promise you that. I’m going to speak to the Governor later and see if she can pull some strings before Social Services demand custody of her.’ Steve touched her arm reassuringly.

‘I’ll take her, I don’t care if you don’t want me to, I love that little girl.’ Kono insisted.

‘I know, it won’t come to that.’ Steve said, not sure who he was trying to convince.

Kono nodded ‘okay. If you need anything just give me a call.’

‘Thanks Kono, Mr, Mrs Kalakaua, I really appreciate everything you’ve done for Grace.’ Steve told them.

‘You look after that little girl,’ Mrs Kalakaua told him sternly ‘and bring her over here if you need anything. She’s always welcome here. Poor little mite.’

‘Mahalo.’ Steve hugged Kono and her mother and shook hands with her father before he headed back to the Camero.

Grace was curled up on the seat, leaning against the door, hugging a t-shirt of Danny’s that she’d found on the back seat.

He could see the small tears running down her cheeks, but her lack of sleep had finally caught up with her and her small shoulders had slumped, sleep finally claiming her.

Steve had never seen her look so small and vulnerable; usually she had Danny’s fight, now all he saw was a broken little girl who thought she had nowhere to go.

It was the most heartbreaking thing he had ever seen.

505050505050

Steve carried Grace out of the car, into his house.

She was still clutching Danny’s shirt, but didn’t stir when he laid her on the sofa and went to find a blanket, not wanting to put her upstairs in a bed, where he wouldn’t be within eyesight when she woke up.

He knew the panic caused by waking up in a strange place.

After draping the blanket over her small frame, Steve sat on a chair and looked at Grace.

The truth was, he knew what he had to do.

 _Not have to do, want to do,_ he reminded himself.

But even though he knew this, the question still haunted him.

Can I raise a child?

Will they think I’m a suitable person to look after her?

He rubbed his forehead tiredly and got up to make coffee, thinking about what he and Grace would have to get from her house and the store later. He needed to call her school and explain what had happened.

Steve was stirring his coffee when he heard the first scream.

‘Danno! Mommy!’

He rushed back into the living room, looking at Gracie who was sat up straight, screaming in terror.

‘Gracie. What happened?’ he asked, pulling the little girl into his arms.

‘I saw them, I saw it Uncle Steve.’ She sobbed, but only weepy tears this time.

She was thoroughly cried out.

‘It’s okay, it was only a dream this time.’ Steve told her.

She nodded.

‘I’ll go and get you a glass of water.’ He said, starting to detangle himself from her.

‘No please. Please. Please don’t go. I need you to stay here. Like Danno did. I need you’ she sobbed, not knowing fully what she was saying, but to Steve it was clear.

He knew what he had to do.

50505050505050

The Governor wasn’t surprised when she received a call from Steve McGarrett. She had been expecting one.

‘Commander, I am so sorry for your losses. How’s Grace?’ she asked, genuinely concerned.

‘She’s not too good, but I think she’ll be okay with time.’ Steve told her.

‘That’s good. Now, what can I do for you?’ Governor Jameson asked, sensing an underlying agenda to this conversation.

‘I wanted to talk to you about Gracie.’ Steve admitted.

‘Oh,’ this she didn’t expect ‘what about her?’

‘You know how it goes, Gracie has no one left. So that means social services will want to take her.’ Steve stated, sounding nervous.

This was definitely not what she had expected.

‘I know. So what do you want me to do?’ she asked, needing clarification that she hadn’t misread the conversation.

‘I’m asking you to help me. I need you to pull a few strings.’ Steve told her, his voice gruff from stress.

‘In what way?’ she pushed him and the reply was all she needed.

‘I want to adopt Gracie.’

_Chapter 2_

 

5050505050505050

**‘ _I want to adopt Gracie.’_**

The moment the words were out of his mouth Steve realised the enormity of what he had done. For a moment he felt sick, as though he had made the wrong decision. But one look at the sleeping girl curled up around the stuffed dog made him recognize that what he was feeling wasn’t regret, it was dread.

The dread that every new parent feels.

The dread that they won’t be good parents.

That their child will hate them.

Although Steve could never replace her real family, he was her new one.

She would never see him as her real father, nor would he want her to.

He felt the dread of the fact that she wouldn’t have a mother figure. Sure there was Cath, but she wasn’t around enough to be considered a real figure in Grace’s life.

‘Are you sure this is what you want Steve?’ Governor Jameson asked, sensing his pause.

‘Never been as sure in my life, Governor.’ Steve nodded to himself.

‘I’ll see what I can do. It may be a few days though. I assume Grace will be staying with you?’ she clarified.

‘Yeah, I’ll contact her school. When I’m working I’ll sort something out for her until she’s okay to go back to school.’ Steve told her.

‘That’s not necessary, I’m putting 5-0 on compassionate leave until everything is sorted and that little girl is back on track. HPD can manage until then.’ Governor Jameson stated, the sharp tone in her voice warning McGarrett against trying to argue with her.

The commander sighed ‘okay.’

‘Good, I’ll be in contact with you as soon as I have news. Goodbye Steven.’

There was a click on the line as she hung up, not waiting for him to reply, sensing that the conversation was only going to go downhill and bailing before it had the chance.

Steve clicked the ‘off button’ and slumped down into the armchair across the room from Grace.

He rubbed his forehead with his hand.

He needed to shower and sleep, but he knew that sleep wouldn’t come easily.

The images that were avoidable in the daytime he would fall prey to in his sleep. Just as they were haunting Grace.

 _Jesus,_ Steve thought, _poor messed up kid._

Working with him had finally killed her father.

Steve remembered Danny’s warning ‘ _I am not getting myself killed for your vendetta.’_

In the end Danny had been proved wrong. He had died for Steve. Because both him and Steve had gotten too close to the truth.

Steve’s vendetta had cost Danny and his family their lives.

‘Fuck.’ Steve muttered angrily.

He wanted to punch something, to beat the hell out of anybody or anything.

This was all his fault.

Standing quickly, Steve stormed over to the fridge, pulling out a carton of pineapple juice and taking a swig.

He could almost hear Danny’s scolding, _what are you an animal? Use a glass!_

As he shoved the carton back into the fridge he glanced at its contents, realising just how un-child friendly it was.

Beer, more beer, wine for when Cath came, some cheese that looked like it was from 1960 and not really much else. He needed to go to the store.

Steve sighed as he looked from his fridge to the little girl.

He couldn’t bear to wake her.

 _Takeout it is tonight then,_ Steve resolved looking at Grace again.

Her face was peaceful in sleep, if not for the raw red colour of her eyes it could have almost been as though nothing had happened, as though he was just babysitting her while Rachel and Danny went out to the nice diner by the beach they loved so much.

50505050505050505050

It was almost an hour later when someone knocked on the door.

Steve jumped up, having been dozing off, and sprinted to the door before the person had chance to knock again, drawing his gun as he did so.

He looked through the peep-hole, relaxing as he saw the worried face of Chin outside his door rather than a Wo Fat assassin.

505050505050505050505050

Chin breathed a sigh of relief when Steve opened the door to his house and there was no hysterical girl attached to him.

‘I thought I might have woken her up,’ Chin said as Steve put his finger to his lips in a ‘shush’ gesture.

The commander looked a mess, bags under his eyes and his brow pinched with stress.

Super SEAL had cracked.

It wasn’t something Chin could say he was pleased about. Their fearless leader was an asset to the team, he got the job done.

Steve stepped aside to let Chin Ho come into the house.

The first thing Chin noticed was Grace, curled up on the sofa, still in the underskirt of the dress she has been wearing yesterday.

Steve frowned more as he looked at the little girl.

‘My mother sent these until you can go and get her stuff,’ Chin held up a bag of clothes.

‘You’re a life saver,’ Steve breathed ‘I hadn’t even thought past dinner tonight.’

‘I figured as much,’ Chin nodded ‘so I got pizza on my way over.’

Steve had never looked as relieved, Chin thought, as he handed the man the bag of clothes and headed back out to his car to retrieve the pizza boxes that were piled in the front seat.

‘Beer?’ Steve offered quietly as Chin set the pizza down on the coffee table in front of the television.

‘No thanks brah, can barely stomach food.’ Chin shook his head ‘I can’t stop seeing it over and over in my head.’

Steve sat back in the armchair ‘me neither, all I can think of is that she saw everything too. She didn’t deserve this. Danno and Rachel didn’t deserve this. Hell no one deserves that. If I hadn’t pushed and pushed and pushed at my mother’s murder, none of this would have happened. Danny would still be alive and Grace would still have her family.’

‘It’s not your fault Steve. It could have been any of us. The cases led back to him, no matter whether you’d been investigating your mother’s murder or not, the cases always linked back to him in some way. It was inevitable.’ Chin shook his head, surprised at how calm his words came out.

‘Kono’s a wreck.’ Steve stated.

‘We all are, shit happens, she’ll have to learn to deal with it if she wants to make it in this line of work.’ Chin’s words sounded harsh and cold even to himself.

‘I’m sorry, that’s not how I meant it.’ He corrected.

‘I know what you mean.’ Steve nodded ‘it was the same when my father died. I blamed myself for letting Hesse escape. But what can you do. I was a grown man, not an eight year old girl.’

‘She’ll be okay,’ Chin nodded ‘she’s a tough little cookie, just like her old man.’

Steve smiled slightly before sighing and then allowing a grimace to creep onto his face ‘I gotta wake her up to eat something.’

Chin flinched ‘poor kid. Before you do, what’s going to happen to her?’

Steve paused in his way over to where Grace slept.

‘I called the Governor to see about getting the ball rolling with her adoption. I can’t let her go into care. I’m hoping I can get her adoption papers sorted before social services come knocking. The Governor said she’d pull some strings. She doesn’t need to be stuck in foster care and then sent to another home, like a dog no one wants. She can stay here with me, I owe Danno that much. She was his life; I could never forgive myself if I let her be shipped off away from school and her friends. Not after everything he went through to keep her life as normal as possible.’ Steve shook his head.

Chin nodded ‘I was about to offer the same thing myself.’

‘Kono already did too. You’re good people; you’ve got your lives to live. Kono especially, she’s too young to make that kind of decision.’

Chin nodded ‘but still. You need anything, just give me a call.’

‘Thanks brah. I appreciate it,’ Steve turned back towards Grace and gently nudged her shoulder.

When she began to stir Steve knelt down beside her, keeping one hand on her back.

‘Hey, Uncle Chin brought pizza. You gotta eat something.’ He whispered, hesitantly waiting for the hysterics to appear.

Instead, when Grace turned towards Steve, she took a shaky breath and looked up at the SEAL, all Steve saw was nothing. No emotion, none of the old innocent sparkle.

Her eyes were dull and dead.

He recognised those eyes, he had seen them in himself when HPD had come and told them his mother had died and in his father when he had sent Steve and Mary away to the mainland.

Her eyes were soulless, as though she wasn’t there anymore.

To Steve they were worse than the hysterics. At least with tears there was emotion.

Grace sat up and allowed Steve to carry her over to sit next to Chin.

‘I got you cheese pizza. That ok?’ Chin asked her, opening the boxes of food.

‘Yes thanks.’ She said quietly, her voice rough and croaky.

Steve watched her take a piece of pizza and eat it slowly. But it was food.

Anything was better than nothing; he hadn’t expected her to even consider food so he tucked in too.

‘Good girl,’ he heard Chin praise her.

5050505050505050505050505050

‘So what are you going to do now?’ Chin asked.

‘Call for backup,’ Steve told him.

Chin almost smiled ‘oh dear.’

‘I’ll see you tomorrow.’ Steve said to the detective.

‘Me and Kono’ll call round. I’ll watch her and you can go and get food.’ Chin told him.

‘Mahalo,’ Steve said gratefully.

‘Aloha Gracie,’ Chin called.

There was no answer from the little girl but she raised her hand in a tiny wave.

‘Aloha.’ Steve said as Chin started to head towards his car.

‘See you tomorrow brah,’ Chin replied opening his car door.

Steve watched him drive away before heading back into the house.

‘C’mon Gracie bedtime. Chin brought some clothes but we got no jammies.’ Steve told her.

Grace nodded and waited for him to come up with a solution.

‘I’ll go look in Mary’s room. Stay here okay?’ Steve told her, watching the expression on her face turn from pain to panic in a split second.

‘No! No! Please don’t leave me, not on my own, please.’ She flung herself at him, clutching him t-shirt ‘please Uncle Steve.’

‘Okay, okay,’ Steve rubbed her back soothingly ‘we’ll both go and look.’

He straightened up, holding Grace to him tightly before heading upstairs.

505050505050505050

Eventually, after finding her a long t-shirt, Steve persuaded her to sleep in a room of her own, promising to be either in the living room or in his room next to hers at all times.

‘Night Steve.’ She mumbled drowsily, everything catching up to her all at once.

‘Night Gracie, see you in the morning.’ Steve smoothed the hair out of her face, feeling a rush of emotion towards the little girl.

When he was sure she was asleep he crept downstairs and picked up the phone, dialling the familiar number.

‘Who the hell is this? Do you realise what freaking time it is?! No, in fact I’ll tell you, it’s one in the morning!’ came the angry voice who answered.

‘Hey Mary, its Steve. Look I need to tell you something. And I need your help too.’

**Chapter 3**

**50505050505050505050**

It was almost three o’clock in the morning when Steve heard the screams of Grace.

He jumped up out of bed and ran into her room, taking in the sight of the little girl thrashing about on the bed, clearly still trapped in her own living hell.

‘Grace! Gracie!’ Steve shook her shoulders, trying to stop her thrashing.

Her eyes flew open, full of fear as she looked up into his face, momentarily unaware of where she was.

The fear was short-lived, and then came the tears.

Steve lifted her up off of the bed and pulled her to him, feeling her small frame as it racked with sobs.

‘I know honey, I know,’ he soothed, rocking her back and forth gently.

‘I want my Mommy,’ she wailed, pressing her face against his chest.

‘I know you do, I know.’ Steve had no idea what to say to her, he couldn’t bring himself to tell her that it was okay, because it wasn’t.

She wrapped her arms around his waist and bare chest, clutching him to her so tightly that Steve regretted not throwing on a shirt.

He rubbed her back gently and kissed the top of her head before standing up, lifting her arms around his neck as he did so that he could support her more easily.

‘C’mon sweetie,’ he said turning to carry her downstairs and outside onto his back porch, overlooking the beach switching on the garden light as he did so.

She didn’t look up as he did so and only when he settled his weight into the hammock did she relax her vice grip on his neck. The gentle swinging of the hammock soothed her more than Steve could as he held her in her arms and let her sob for all she had lost.

It was almost an hour later when Grace’s sobs subsided and she asleep, her head resting against his chest.

Steve put his arms around her waist gently as he let his head fall back against the material of the hammock, trying to relax.

5050505050505050

Steve woke to the sound of a car and he jumped up, only just saving the little girl still asleep on him from hitting the floor as he almost catapulted them off the hammock.

‘Shit, oh, oops, sorry Gracie.’ He said to the little girl who, having jerked awake, was trying to work out where she was.

Grace looked up at him tiredly and gave a small smile.

‘Hi,’ she mumbled.

 _Must have got her morning skills from her mother, her father would have thumped me for waking him so suddenly,_ Steve thought.

‘Come on, there’s someone at the door.’ Steve said, standing up and carrying her into the house before setting her down in the kitchen.

‘Stay here while I answer the door. Then I’ll fix you up some breakfast, okay?’ Steve told her.

Grace nodded, looking around for a second, before walking over to one of the chairs on the kitchen table and pulling herself onto it.

 _She’s awfully calm,_ Steve thought.

After her dream last night he had expected her to be hysterical.

Steve checked the peep hole before opening the door to Chin and Kono.

‘Um, heard of shirts Boss?’ Kono asked, raising an eyebrow.

‘Give him a break, Cuz, it’s nine-thirty in the morning! You’re the early bird here.’ Chin nudged her.

‘You woke me up, sorry, she was asleep and I fell asleep and I didn’t even realise what time it was.’ Steve rubbed a hand across his face.

‘Sorry for coming so early. Hey Gracie-girl,’ Kono walked into the kitchen.

‘She seems better,’ Steve commented pointing at Kono, watching their rookie hug Grace’s shoulders.

‘I had a talk to her Mom, apparently she had a good cry, some sleep and then was up at six to go surfing before I went to pick her up,’ Chin said quietly ‘she scares me sometimes, the way she deals with things can’t be healthy.’

Steve nodded ‘we’ve all got as much leave as we need, so she can take as long to deal with it as she needs to.’

Chin nodded ‘I know.’

‘I need to get her some breakfast.’ Steve said.

‘You go get changed and Kono’ll make us all something. The kid sure can cook.’ Chin told him.

Steve nodded ‘okay. I’ll be two minutes.’

**Chapter 4**

Finally Grace’s adoption papers had come through; social services had to come and give an inspection and sign the papers as well as Steve.

The Governor had done all she could to prevent the inspection but it was US procedure and there was only so far against the law she could go without putting herself at risk.

Steve, with the help of Chin, Kono and Kono’s parents had scrubbed his house until it shone, all that was left to do now was to decorate the guest room the way Grace wanted, rather than in the neutral beige colour it was now.

Steve had also gone and picked all of Grace’s stuff up from Danny and Rachel’s house so that she could begin to live normally again, rather than out of a plastic bag.

There had been tears when Steve had brought her things back to his house as he had brought the pictures he had found of Grace and her parents, hoping it would both help her face what had happened but also to give her something to remember them by.

She had cried, took the photos up to her room and closed the door, wanting only to be alone.

Mary had arrived a few days later, a whirlwind of emotion as usual, but her bubbly personality had helped Grace and for the first time since her parents wedding day he had seen her smile.

A good old Grace smile, where her eyes sparkled.

Mary was a genius, she was the one who called Grace’s school and had arranged for both herself and Steve to attend a meeting with the headmaster to properly discuss what was to be done.

 _It sounds like Grace has done something terrible herself, rather than having something terrible happen to her,_ Steve thought, but he knew how much damage Grace missing a lot of school could do to her education.

He knew it couldn’t be avoided but he still worried about how she would catch up, he wasn’t exactly a genius himself when it came to school.

Sports, navy, cop cases, no problem, but give him an algebra problem and he was screwed.

It was Mary who he had found asleep one morning in Grace’s room and had later found out from Grace that she had told her about what she had done when their mother had died.

That had helped too; it helped Grace to see that she wouldn’t be sad forever.

‘Do you miss your Mom and Dad,’ Grace had asked Steve over dinner.

‘Every day,’ he said honestly ‘but I know that they wouldn’t want me to be sad and neither would your Mom or Danno.’

50505050505050505050

The funeral was a week later.

A Friday.

The weather as usual was glorious, but for once it didn’t lift Steve’s mood.

On the day of the funeral Mary and Steve had picked out a dress for Grace, who hadn’t spoken a word all morning.

Her Grandfather was still in a coma, the hospital unwilling to let him come round yet in case of more complications.

They had said he had brain damage as well as being paralyzed, but until he woke up they were unsure of the full extent of the damage.

Steve rubbed his face as he left Mary to fix Grace’s hair while he went and showered.

Mary had been a godsend this last week, he thought.

She had helped him with everything, showing him the best ways of doing Grace’s hair and which clothes to put with which shoes. What was the best food for Grace to eat until she was willing to tell them herself what she liked best.

 He didn’t know how he would have coped without her, but he knew eventually she would go back to LA again, leaving him to look after Gracie himself.

But she had promised to stay until Grace went back to school.

That was a relief, Steve supposed.

50505050505050505050

The hearse arrived at nine o’clock with the limo behind it.

The two coffins had been covered by an American flag.*

Grace’s grandparent’s bodies had been flown back to their home countries, to be buried as this is what their wills stated they wanted.

Their existing families would be at their funerals.

Steve didn’t want to put Grace through the torture and pain of flying around to go to three different funerals, it was a decision she may resent in the future, Steve knew, but he felt it was the right decision for the time.

Steve and Grace climbed into the limo, along with Mary, Chin and Kono were already inside having lived on route.

‘Aloha Grace,’ Kono said with a small smile.

Grace didn’t answer, just clutched Steve’s hand tightly and looked at the floor.

Steve looked down at the little girl who he knew was fighting hysterics and squeezed her hand.

It was a long ride to the cemetery, with no one knowing fully what to say.

Danny and Rachel had wanted to be buried in a traditional English ceremony together, reflecting Rachel’s home and her beliefs.

When they arrived, Steve was surprised at the turn out, it had been open invitation but Steve had expected it to just be them.

Instead, the Governor came, along with most of the HPD department who had worked with Danny at some point of his short career with the Honolulu police, Kamekona and some of the people who had known Danny from New Jersey. Steve didn’t know them.

The ceremony was done twice, Rachel first, the vicar reciting the prayer:

‘"Insure and certain hope of the resurrection to eternal life through our Lord Jesus Christ, we commend to Almighty God our sister Rachel; and we commit his body to the ground; earth to earth; ashes to ashes, dust to dust. The Lord bless her and keep her, the Lord make her face to shine upon him and be gracious unto her and give her peace. Amen."

Grace broke down as they began to lower her mother into the ground and Steve picked her up like you would a two year old child.

She sobbed into his shoulder, clutching him tightly.

Then it was Danny’s turn:

"In sure and certain hope of the resurrection to eternal life through our Lord Jesus Christ, we commend to Almighty God our brother Daniel; and we commit his body to the ground; earth to earth; ashes to ashes, dust to dust. The Lord bless him and keep him, the Lord make his face to shine upon him and be gracious unto him and give him peace. Amen."

Grace didn’t even turn around as Danny was lowered into the ground, she screamed when the servicemen let out two shots to recognise the work Danny had done for Hawaii and New Jersey from his time as a detective.

‘Its okay, it’s okay,’ Steve soothed her looking around at everyone.

Kono was sobbing too, comforted by Chin, who was also crying.

As was the Governor and some of Danny and Rachel’s friends.

Steve felt tears well up as the shots were fired, reminding him of all the people he had lost.

He wiped his eye with his sleeve, determined to stay strong for Grace.

Mary moved to put her arm around his waist in a hug and Steve smiled slightly at her until the Vicar called upon them to throw dirt into the grave.

Steve took a handful from the container her was offered before throwing it into the grave while he Vicar read:

‘In the midst of life we are in death. Earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust. From dust we came and from dust we will go.’

‘Hey Gracie, you too,’ Steve told her setting her gently on the floor as the Vicar offered her the container.

She took some and copied what Steve had done.

‘Goodbye Mommy. Goodbye Daddy. I love you.’

In the silence of the moment everyone could hear he little girl whisper the words, before she started to cry again, reaching for Steve’s hand.

And for a moment, Steve could almost imagine he heard the reply.

‘Goodbye monkey, Mommy and Danno love you too baby.’

**Chapter 5**

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After the funeral, things seemed to improve with Grace.

It was almost as though in saying goodbye to her parents, she had accepted what had happened to her and had decided to move on with her life.

However, the nightmares hadn’t gone away.

Night after night Steve woke to the sound of her screams.

She screamed for Danny and Rachel, sometimes for her Grandparents and sometimes for him.

Tonight it was for him.

‘STEVE STEVE STEVE!’ woke him from his sleep and he stood up, pulling on a t-shirt before hurrying into her room.

Grace was sat up in bed, visibly shaking.

‘Hey, hey Gracie, come on, I’m here its okay.’ Steve said, sitting on the edge of the bed and touching the little girl’s hand.

‘I don’t want to go back to sleep, I can’t. I can’t, Steve.’ Grace shuffled over to where Steve sat and crawled into his lap.

He stroked her back and sighed ‘you don’t have to go back to sleep Grace, why don’t you tell me what you keep seeing?’

That panicked her and she shook her head violently, pressing her face against his chest so that he couldn’t read the fear in her eyes.

Steve thought for a second before lifting Grace’s chin with a finger so that she was looking up at him.

‘You wanna go for a ride? Get out of this house?’

Grace nodded slightly, tears leaking from the corner of her eyes.

Steve wiped them away and kissed her forehead.

‘Come on then, get dressed,’ Steve handed her the shorts and t-shirt she’d been wearing the day before.

Grace nodded again, slowly climbing out of bed, clearly confused.

‘Just give me two minutes,’ Steve told her as she picked up her clothes.

He didn’t wait for her to reply before he slipped out of her room, into his own and pulled off his shorts.

Steve threw on a pair of jeans, his eyes searching the room for his phone and car keys.

‘I’m ready,’ Grace said quietly as she came into his room.

‘Me too,’ Steve snagged his keys and ushered her out of the house and into the Camero.

‘Where are we going?’ Grace asked as she buckled her seatbelt, the bags under her eyes clear.

‘We’re just going for a drive, okay?’ Steve said softly as he swung the car out of the driveway and onto the empty street.

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Steve had no idea where they were going, he was just driving.

When he had lost his Mom, walking had helped him more than anything, just a change of scenery.

Grace was too little for Steve to let her wander around on her own, but he hoped that she would be able to relax a bit.

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After a while she spoke.

‘Steve, can we get something to eat? And can I ask you something?’

‘Sure, what do you want?’

‘Fried chicken.’

 _Just like your father,_ Steve thought.

‘Boneless?’ he asked, taking a right.

She nodded.

 _Just like Danny,_ Steve thought again as he took a left, turning into the car park of Zippy’s, a local fast food restaurant that did take-out until late.*

‘You coming in?’ Steve asked gently.

Grace nodded, rubbing her arms.

‘You cold?’ Steve asked

‘A little.’

Steve frowned, it wasn’t cold outside.

He leaned into the back of the car and pulled out a jacket, handing it to Grace.

‘Thanks.’ She muttered.

‘Come on,’ Steve said walking around to her side of the Camero and opening the door for her.

The jacket, which he now realised was Danny’s, not his, buried her.

It came down to her knees and her hands were completely hidden.

‘Sorry Gracie, it’s a little big.’

‘It’s Danno’s. He always used to lend me his jacket.’ She sniffed sadly and Steve thought she was going to cry.

‘Hey, hey, don’t, come on; let’s go get you some fried chicken. Okay?’ he said closing the car door.

Grace nodded, pulling the jacket around herself and following Steve into the restaurant.

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Steve watched the little girl as she sat on a stool while he ordered the food and paid for it. Usually he wouldn’t have touched fried chicken, or any fast food, but if it helped her then he was sure he could manage it for once.

The server handed him the bucket of chicken and Steve took it, grateful to leave the building.

Grease seemed to leak out of every crack.

‘Let’s go Gracie,’ he said, shepherding her outside.

Once they were in the car he handed her the bucket of chicken and pulled out of the car park.

‘Tuck in,’ Steve told her, reaching over and taking a piece of chicken himself.

It was actually pretty good, his first piece of junk food in years.

Grace took a piece and chewed it slowly.

Steve knew she hadn’t been eating much lately, so any food was good, she needed the strength. He was worried that the stress was going to make her ill and had even considered taking her to see a therapist.

Just someone who could sit and listen to her and be impartial.

Someone who wasn’t part of their world who she could trust, but Mary had talked him out of it, saying that she just needed time.

 _If she doesn’t improve then we’ll think more about it, it just takes some time, us two of all people should know that,_ Mary had said, ever the voice of reason.

Steve had agreed, it had taken him a while to get over his Mom’s death, especially when his father had sent them away.

‘What are you thinking about?’ he heard a small voice ask, dragging him out of his memories.

‘I was just thinking about my Mom.’ Steve replied, indicating right, suddenly knowing where to go.

‘How did she die?’ Grace asked.

‘She was murdered. Just like your Mom.’ Steve told her.

‘Oh. What about your Daddy?’

‘He was murdered too.’

‘Like Danno?’

‘Yeah.’

She fell silent again before she looked up at him ‘why can’t I sleep?’

Steve sighed thoughtfully before stopping the car ‘Grace? Do you want to go for a walk on the beach?’

‘Why?’

‘Because the beach is the best place for answers. That’s where I used to go when I was a kid.’

‘Okay.’

Her little voice was small, her eyes wide and trusting as she took his hand, the other still clutching her food and followed him out onto the empty beach.

**Chapter 6**

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They walked along in silence for a few minutes; the only sound was the waves hitting the beach in a soothing pattern.

Steve watched Grace out of the corner of his eye, the bags under her eyes clear in the moonlight, her eyes dark and troubled.

‘Here.’ Steve said holding out his hand for the now almost empty bucket.

Man that child could eat when she wanted to.

She handed it over to him and he deposited it in the nearest trash can before he reached down to take her hand.

Grace moved closer to Steve, pushing up the sleeves of the jacket so that she could clutch his hand.

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It amazed Steve, the fact that Grace would so willingly put her trust in him despite everything that had happened.

The little girl followed him down the beach to his favourite spot where they sat down.

Steve sat cross legged, just like he’d used to when he’d visited the beach in the short time in-between his mother’s death and his father sending them away to the mainland.

Still she didn’t speak, but that was okay, he could wait as long as it took.

It took an hour; she just stared out at the sea, not moving until she eventually turned her head to look at Steve.

‘Steve?’

‘Yeah?’  He asked, looking down at her.

‘Why did Mommy and Danno die?’ Grace moved closer to Steve.

The SEAL thought for a moment before he spoke.

‘Gracie, your Mommy and Daddy were murdered because of a bad man. Danno always caught the bad guys right?’ he paused and she nodded.

‘Well, this time the bad guy really didn’t want to be caught because he’d done a lot of bad things to people so he thought that if he killed Danno he wouldn’t get caught.’ Steve explained ‘the bad guy who killed your Mom and Dad was the same bad guy who had my Mom and Dad killed too.’

Grace pondered this for a moment.

‘Why did he kill my Grandma’s and Grandad too?’ she asked steadily.

‘Because..’ Steve stopped for a moment ‘because he was a very bad man and instead of just hurting Danno, he decided to hurt everyone including your Grandparents.’

Steve knew that that wasn’t the whole truth but the whole truth could wait until she was older when she’d be able to understand the ins and outs more easily.

‘Did he want to hurt you and Auntie Kono and Uncle Chin too?’ she asked.

‘Yeah, he’s a very bad man.’ Steve nodded honestly, putting his hand on Grace’s shoulder as he eyes widened.

‘But why?’ Grace moved so that she was sat in Steve’s lap, pulling his arm around her like Steve had seen her do to her father when they sat together on a sofa and she wanted to sleep.

‘Because bad people don’t want to get caught and sometimes they do bad things to stop bad things happening to them.’

‘Bad things happening to them?’ Grace asked.

 _She is cold,_ Steve thought as he said ‘bad things like going to prison, bad guys don’t want to go to prison.’

‘But Danno and you and Uncle Chin and Auntie Kono put them in prison, right?’ Grace clarified.

‘We try our best yeah.’ Steve rubbed her arm as she pressed herself closer to his warm body.

‘Uncle Steve, I can’t sleep.’ She said with a sniff, the first bit of real emotion she’d shown since they’d started talking.

‘I know honey, I know, what happens in the nightmare you keep having?’ he asked gently, expecting her to cry and shut down completely so he was slightly shocked when she spoke.

‘I keep seeing Danno and Mommy on...’ she paused, tears leaking out of the corners of her eyes ‘that day.’

‘Oh Gr..’ Steve started to speak but she cut him off.

‘And then I keep seeing you with Daddy when the car exploded and you died too and then some days it’s just Danno  and then I saw my Grandma and she said that it was all Danno’s fault.’ The tears were coming thick and fast.

‘It wasn’t Danno’s fault was it?’ Grace sobbed, her hands wrapping around Steve’s back.

Steve felt his mouth fall open and he put his finger under Grace’s chin, pulling her face up so that she was looking at him.

‘No, it was not Danno’s fault. Never think that, you hear? It wasn’t your Dad’s fault, it was the bad mans fault. Okay? Danno was a hero, he saved so many people’s lives here and back in New Jersey, he was amazing and he loved you more than anything in the whole world and he would never, ever do anything to hurt you! This isn’t his fault.’ Steve told her firmly.

‘But why did they have to go away. I miss them so much.’ She pulled her face back and buried her head into Steve’s chest.

Steve took a deep breath and wrapped his arms around the little girl tightly.

‘I know you do sweetie,’ Steve told her, kissing the top of her head.

‘But it hurts so much and it doesn’t stop hurting even when I go to sleep.’ Grace cried.

‘I know it hurts, but eventually it starts to hurt less, you’ll always miss them because they’re your Mom and Dad,’ Steve told her.

‘Do you still miss your Mom and Dad?’

‘Every day, but I know that they’re looking after me like your Mommy and Daddy are and they wouldn’t want you to be sad all the time. They love you and they’d want you to be happy. I miss Danno too, he’s the only one who ever put up with me at work and he always made me laugh,’ Steve told her ‘especially when Kono tried to teach him how to surf!’

Steve felt Grace laugh slightly ‘Danno didn’t like the beach, or the water. Mommy used to always  swim. He never liked the fruit here either.’

‘I know, but do you know why he came here?’ Steve asked.

Grace shook her head.

‘He came here and he took surfing lessons and put up with the sand and pineapple for you. Because he didn’t want to lose you. That’s how much he loved you and your Mom, he would have done anything for you.’

Grace looked up and gave a watery smile ‘Danno always said I was his princess.’

‘You were and he loved you more than anything in this world. That’s why you have to be happy because Danno wouldn’t want you to be sad. When you’re sad that makes Danno and Mommy sad too.’ Steve smiled back at her.

‘I don’t want to be sad,’ Grace admitted.

‘Then you don’t have to be.’ Steve told her.

‘I’ll try not to be sad anymore.’ Grace looked at him.

‘For Danno,’ Steve nodded.

‘And Mommy and Grandma Williams and Grandma and Grandad.’

‘Good girl,’ Steve said, holding her to him as she pressed her cheek against him.

‘I’m tired.’ She mumbled.

‘Then sleep.’ Steve told her ‘it’s okay.’

He felt her nod and within minutes he felt her body slacken as she fell into a deep and dreamless sleep.

It was the first time she’d slept properly since the death of her parents and Steve knew that it was the first step in the right direction.

**Chapter 7**

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It was almost six o’clock in the morning when Steve returned home, carrying Grace, who was still sleeping soundly, despite being carried back to the car, strapped in and driven home.

Steve took her through the house, placing her on the sofa rather than her bed so that he could keep an eye on her.

He left her for a second to go and fetch a blanket, finding himself face to face with Mary on the stairs.

‘Where’ve you been?’ She asked.

‘Out, shh she’s asleep.’ Steve told her ‘go back to bed it’s fine.’

‘Where did you go?’

‘I took her to the beach, I’ll explain in the morning, she told me about her dreams,’ Steve said ‘it’s the first time she’s slept properly in a week, please, go back to bed.’

Steve saw Mary purse her lips, whether in disapproval or whether deciding if he was telling the truth he didn’t know or care.

‘Go,’ Steve said, putting his hands on her shoulders and turning her around.

‘I’m going, I’m going. Just because you’re a Commander doesn’t mean you get to boss me around Steve-o.’

‘Please, just be quiet, if you wake her up I’ll kick your ass back to LA myself.’ Steve joked, pinching her sides.

‘I’m going!’ Mary hissed with a smile.

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Steve followed her up the stairs going into his room and grabbing a blanket out of the cupboard before heading back downstairs.

He covered Grace over before going into the kitchen and flicking the coffee maker on.

After what seemed like an age the coffee was brewed and he gratefully poured some into a mug and added milk before sitting down on his armchair.

God he was tired, he thought, but tonight had been worth it.

Anything that would help Gracie was worth it.

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‘Fuck Steve!’ Mary’s shocked voice jolted the SEAL awake and he looked around, reaching for the gun at his waist that wasn’t there.

‘Wha.. oh shit,’ Steve felt his drenched cargo pants and looked down to see them covered in coffee ‘I guess I fell asleep.’

‘You think?’ Mary said sarcastically, a smug grin on her face.

‘Where’s Grace?’ Steve asked, looking at the empty sofa.

‘She’s just getting dressed. Speaking of which, you’d better go shower too, you have a meeting with the Governor in an hour.’ Mary told him, waving the piece of toast she had in her hand around in the air.

‘Since when?’

‘Since she called you ten minutes ago.’

‘I didn’t hear the phone.’ Steve narrowed his eyes, he was a light sleeper and always woke when his phone went off.

‘It was on silent. You left it next to the coffee maker.’ Mary held it out to him.

‘What does she want?’ Steve asked, standing up and taking the iPhone.

‘Like she’s gonna tell me.’ Mary said, her voice rising slightly.

‘You’re a pain in the ass.’ Steve shook his head.

‘Yup, and I pride myself in being good at it too..hey!’ She shouted as Steve snagged the piece of toast from her and headed upstairs.

‘Asshole!’ she called after him.

‘Language Mary, there’s little ears around.’ Steve replied.

‘Uncle Steve, why do you look like you wet yourself?’ Grace asked with a giggle as he reached her room.

‘I fell asleep with coffee in my hand.’ Steve ruffled her already tangled hair ‘you feel better?’

‘Yeah, I think so.’ She said quietly.

‘Good I’m glad,’ Steve smiled at her ‘listen Gracie, I have to go to work for an hour, but after that how about me and you go see Auntie Kono and Uncle Chin?’

‘Okay,’ Grace nodded.

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‘So, Steven, how are you doing?’ Governor Jameson asked as she sat down behind her desk.

‘I’ve been better,’ Steve replied honestly ‘but I’ll be okay.’

‘How’s Grace doing?’

‘She’s been having nightmares but we had a bit of a breakthrough last night. She finally opened up and said what she was feeling and what she kept seeing in her sleep. So hopefully we can carry on making steps in the right direction.’ Steve said.

The Governor nodded ‘but the child saw what happened?’

‘Yes, she did.’

‘Have you thought about getting her professional help?’ Jameson asked.

‘We have yeah, we know she’ll need to see someone eventually, but at the minute I think it would just scare her even more. If the nightmares persist or she doesn’t start to get better then therapy will probably be the best option.’ Steve nodded.

‘Glad to hear you thought about it. I know it’s too early yet, but have you any idea when I can expect you back at work?’

‘As soon as Grace goes back to school and I can find someone to look after her on a night until I get home. I’d rather there’s someone able to pick her up or make her dinner if I have to work late.’ Steve said.

 The Governor nodded ‘I can help arrange that if you’d like.’

‘That would be great.’ Steve said thankfully.

‘I’ll let you know if we find anyone we think is suitable.’ Governor Jameson replied, shuffling some papers on her desk.

Steve stood, taking that as a hint to leave.

‘Thank you Governor.’ He held out his hand for the older woman to shake.

‘Goodbye Commander.’ She said as she returned his hand shake before showing him out of her office.

**Chapter 8**

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Steve drove home, calling at the grocery store to get something for lunch.

He heard his phone begin to buzz as he was paying for the food he had bought and pulled it out of his pocket glancing at the caller id as he hit ‘answer’.

‘Chin, how you doing?’ Steve asked, walking out of the store.

‘Not too bad, how are you and Gracie?’ Chin replied.

‘Okay I think, she’s just had hardly any sleep, I can count the hours she’s had since Danny and Rachel died. It worries me; I mean, she slept little last night, but still only two or three hours.’

‘Hmm,’ Steve could almost see Chin’s frown as he considered it ‘could be caused by stress.’

‘I don’t know, it’s not good for her.’

‘Yeah I know.’

‘Can I bring her to see you and Kono later?’

‘We’re going to the beach surfing, sure,’ Chin said ‘we’ll be there around two.’

‘I’ll meet you there.’ Steve told him before hanging up.

He drove in silence for a minute or two before his cell rang again.

‘Mary,’ Steve said, waiting for her to say something.

When she did her voice was full of panic and Steve felt his stomach clench.

‘Steve where are you, there’s something wrong with Grace, she collapsed.’ Steve could hear that she was crying in her voice and the Camaro’s speed gauge slipped past 80 and continued to rise.

‘What happened. Have you called an ambulance?’ Steve asked, panic creeping into his voice ‘did you leave her alone?’

‘Yes! I called them straight away and no we were watching TV, she said she felt strange and when she stood up to get a drink she just collapsed.’ Mary said, her breath ragged as she gasped out what happened ‘you need to get home now Steve.’

‘I’ll be two minutes, literally.’ Steve flicked the call off and threw the phone onto the seat, reaching over to turn on the lights and sirens.

Most of the HPD recognised the Camaro as Five-0 but Steve wasn’t in the mood to slow down and explain that to a rookie cop.

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Steve pulled into the house at the same time as the paramedics.

He was opening the door and jumping out almost before the Camaro had stopped.

Mary appeared at the door at the same time as Steve reached it, the paramedics only a few paces behind.

‘She’s still out.’ Mary cried, but Steve was relieved to see that despite her distress, she had been calm enough to put Grace in the recovery position.

‘They’ll look after her, take the Camaro and follow us to the hospital.’ Steve ordered her, handing her the keys.

Mary nodded obediently, her usually pale face ashen as she watched her brother run over to Grace and bark questions at the paramedic.

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The paramedics, who were looking more and more peeved with Steve as the minutes went by placed Grace on a stretcher and loaded her into the ambulance.

Steve insisted they let him ride with her, flashing his badge needlessly.

Mary flicked on the sirens in the Camaro so that she could follow the ambulance, wondering how on earth she was able to even put the car in gear, never mind follow a high speed ambulance.

Fuck, if anything happened to Grace she didn’t know how Steve would recover.

Not after Danny.

And their Mom.

And their Dad too, come to think of it.

Steve had always defended their father.

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Steve was in the waiting room of A&E having been shepherded away from Graces side to allow the doctors to run any tests when Mary got there, having had to park the car.

‘Steve! How is she?’ Mary asked as she ran over to him.

‘They’re not sure, but they don’t think its life threatening, they want to run tests to make sure.’ Steve rubbed his hand over his face and Mary had the urge to hug him.

‘So we just have to wait?’ Mary pressed.

‘Yeah. I guess. I have to go call Chin.’ Steve muttered, pulling out his phone and stepping away from Mary, who nodded and went to sit on a chair.

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Chin and Kono arrived within twenty minutes.

They quizzed Steve about what had happened and what the doctors had said and Mary was glad of the distraction; it meant Steve wasn’t making up unrealistic scenarios in his head which could cause whoever was closest to him to be thumped.

After what seemed like an age, the doctor came around the corner.

Steve was up first, everyone else a moment later and Mary could see her brother analysing the doctor’s expression before the doc had even had chance to speak.

The doctor was frowning.

Shit.

**Chapter 9**

Steve felt his stomach drop as he looked at the Doctor’s face.

‘Are you Steve?’ the Doctor asked shaking the SEAL’s hand.

‘Yeah. Is she okay?’ Steve asked not giving the Doctor chance to introduce himself.

He heard the roughness in his own voice and realising just how much it would kill him if Grace wasn’t ok.

‘She’s fine.’ The Doctor smiled a little.

Steve let out a breath he didn’t even realise he was holding before rubbing his face in relief.

‘She collapsed due to exhaustion which, with her current situation, we can most probably link it to stress. We’re running tests to make sure there’s definitely no underlying issue, so we’d like to keep her overnight for observation. I’d just like to see her get a good night’s sleep and some food.’ The doctor explained.

Steve nodded ‘can we see her?’

‘Sure, but if she starts to look tired then can I ask you to leave and let her sleep?’

‘Yeah, is it okay for me to stay with her? I don’t want her here on her own. She has nightmares.’ Steve replied.

The doctor nodded ‘one of the nurses is looking after her Grandfather and explained what happened. May I suggest that you allow me to refer her to a therapist?’

Steve nodded again, knowing that this was the only thing he could do to help Grace get over what she had seen and been through. There was only so far ‘being there for someone’ could help and Steve knew that the little girl, his little girl, needed the help.

He didn’t want his own objection to therapists to cause her harm in the long run.

‘Yes, I think that’s the best way to go.’ Steve agreed.

The doctor gave a small smile, ‘I’ll get onto it and be back to check on her later.’

‘Thank you doc.’ Steve shook the man’s hand again.

‘If you need anything, or have any more questions, ask at the desk for Doctor Tae.’ He said, before beckoning for the group to follow him.

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When they got to Grace’s room, Steve went in first.

The little girl turned to look at him as he entered.

‘Hey sweetie.’ Steve said as he saw her face relax.

‘Uncle Steve.’ She said, reaching the arm that didn’t have a drip attached out to him.

‘Hey, hey what’s wrong?’ Steve rushed over, seeing the tears brimming in her eyes, and pulled her to him.

‘I didn’t feel good and I thought that you might be mad if I said. Step Stan told me not to whine and I’m sorry.’ She sobbed ‘Mommy used to know when I was sick.’

‘I know she did, Mommy was amazing.’ Steve pressed his nose into her hair, hugging her close.

‘You never have to worry about telling us you’re sick Gracie.’ Steve saw Kono move to sit on the bed.

‘Yeah, we won’t ever be mad. You can tell us anything, no matter what it is, what time it is, you can call us at work or if you’re at school and we’ll listen.’ Steve told her rubbing her back.

‘Really?’ Grace asked.

‘Grace, you used to call Danno all the time, you can call us like you used to call Danno. We won’t be mad. We all love you like Danno did.’ Kono told her.

Steve felt the little girl nod into his chest and he smiled at Kono.

The rookie smiled back and stroked Grace’s head.

Chin and Mary came and sat down on the other side of the bed.

‘Hey Gracie, you have to get better soon anyway. You have to come surfing with me and Kono while you couldn’t come today!’

Grace turned to him and smiled before nodding enthusiastically ‘yeah.’

‘You have to get Mary to have a go! She hasn’t surfed in years.’ Steve told Grace.

‘You have to surf.’ Grace said to Mary.

Steve saw his sister smile, he knew she hadn’t surfed since their mother had died, that had been their ‘thing’.

‘Sure kiddo, why not.’ Mary said with a small nod.

Kono turned her head as they heard the door behind them click open.

‘Mom, hey.’ She said.

Steve saw Chin stiffen and prepared himself to stop any comments aimed at his colleague.

‘ Chin.’ Mrs Kalakaua addressed him.

‘I’m glad to hear that she’s okay, when I heard from Kono that she was sick it broke my heart.’ The older woman said, her attitude changing completely as she neared the little girl and pulled her into a hug, dragging her out of Steve’s arms.

Grace didn’t seem to mind and Steve was glad to see that she hugged the woman back, seeming to have adopted her as a kind of ‘Grandmother’ figure.

Steve felt relieved, the kid needed women in her life that were constant, rather than Cath in his, who was there for a day and then gone for months on end.

‘I heard you were looking for a nanny.’ Mrs Kalakaua turned to Steve who nodded.

‘News travels quickly on this island. Yeah, when I go back to work I need someone to be able to pick her up from school and be able to make her her dinner if I have to stay late. Mary can’t do it because she’s going back to LA soon. Her life is there now so it would be unfair to ask her to stay.’ Steve smiled at his sister who smiled back sadly.

‘Well, I’d be more than happy to. It saves hiring someone to do it. All of our children are grown up and I and my husband aren’t quite ready for retirement from kids yet. We’d love to do it. If that was okay with you. She’d have a familiar face.’ Mrs Kalakaua said.

Steve was shocked; her offer had taken him aback.

‘That would be amazing. I couldn’t let you do it for nothing though.’ Steve said.

‘My price is keeping Kono safe. Both of you.’ She looked at Chin.

‘Mom!’ Kono moaned ‘I’m a big girl, I can look after myself.’

‘I know that, but you’re too hot headed for your own good sometimes.’ Mrs Kalakaua told her daughter.

‘Hey Gracie, how would you like to go and stay with Mrs Kalakaua when I’m at work for an hour after school?’ Steve asked the little girl, who was looking up at the woman who held her with a smile.

‘Yeah!’ Grace nodded ‘can I Mrs Kalakaua?’

‘Sure you can.’ The older woman smiled ‘and you can call me Kalei, not Mrs Kalakaua.’

‘Thank you Kalei.’ Steve said gratefully to her.

‘Thank you Mom.’ Kono told her mother.

‘That’s okay, she needs a good Ohana.’

‘Ohana means family.’ Grace said suddenly.

‘Yeah, it does.’ Steve agreed.

‘They say it on Lilo and Stitch. Ohana means family, family means no one gets left behind or forgotten. Like Danno and Mommy, they’re still my Ohana even though they’re not here but I’ll never forget them.’ She looked at her hands.

‘That’s right.’ Chin smiled and Steve got the feeling it was directed at more than just Gracie.

Chin’s Ohana had been taken away too in order for him to protect them.

**Chapter 10**

The doctor released Grace from hospital the day after, saying that all their tests had come back normal.

‘I’ve referred her to a good therapist, she should be in touch within a few days to discuss times and appointment details with you. May I suggest getting Grace back into school as soon as you can? I think she’s got too much time to think about what happens. Wait until she’s been to see Lily, the therapist, and then see about going to school.’ Doctor Tae told him.

Steve nodded shifting Grace’s pink rucksack from his hand to throw it over his shoulder.

He just wanted to get the hell out of this hospital.

‘Thank you.’ He told the doctor gratefully.

‘No problem, bye Gracie.’ The doctor called to Grace who was sat a few metres away, still in her jammies because in his panic to get her home Steve had forgot to bring her a new set of clothes.

 _Some organised SEAL I am,_ Steve thought.

‘Bye.’ Grace waved slightly at him as he walked off.

‘You ready to go home?’ Steve asked her.

‘Yeah.’ The little girl nodded, her brown pony tails bouncing as she moved her head.

‘Come on then.’ He said resting his hand on her shoulder ‘Uncle Chin’s going to drive us home.’

‘Why?’

‘He needs to show me something for when I go back to work.’ Steve told her.

‘When are you going back to catch the bad guys?’ Grace asked.

‘When you go back to school.’ Steve looked down at her and gave a small smile.

‘And Kalei will look after me and pick me up like Mommy’s driver used to?’

‘Yeah, only Kalei won’t be like a driver, she’ll look after you if I have to stay at work later and she’ll make you dinner. She’ll be like,’ Steve thought for a moment ‘kind of like a Grandmother. If that makes sense.’

Grace nodded and then paused ‘Ma, Danno’s Mom was like that. Danno used to shout at her for giving me candy.’

Steve smiled, though he felt a stabbing pain in his chest ‘I can imagine that. Danno always used to shout.’

Grace fell silent and Steve was grateful of the chance to compose himself before they climbed into Chin’s car.

‘Hey Gracie-girl!’ Chin said cheerfully as they got into the car, although Steve could tell it was all a facade.

Shit, his news must be pretty important.

‘Hi Uncle Chin, where’s Auntie Kono?’ Grace asked, buckling her seatbelt.

‘She’s not feeling so good, her Mom’s looking after her.’ Chin sent Steve a look and Steve knew that her illness had nothing to do with the stomach bug that was doing the rounds of the island.

He knew Kono didn’t react well to change, after seeing how torn up she was about the death of her old surfing instructor that much was clear. And she’d been close to Danny Hell, they all had.

‘So, are you feeling better?’ Chin’s voice pulled Steve out of his thoughts.

‘I’m still tired.’ Grace admitted.

‘Yeah, we’re finding you a hot water bottle and you’re going straight to bed.’ Steve told her and when Grace opened her mouth to object he cut her off with ‘doctor’s orders.’

‘That’s not fair,’ she pouted ‘why can’t I stay up with you and Uncle Chin?’

‘Because I said so,’ Steve retorted poking Grace in the side when she pulled her tongue out at him.

‘You sound like Danno.’

‘I sounded like my Dad.’ Steve admitted with a laugh.

Chin smirked ‘my Mom was always the same.’

505050505050505050

‘Mary told me to tell you that she’d gone shopping, she needed to get some groceries.’  Chin told Steve as the SEAL opened the front door ‘she couldn’t reach your cell so called me.’

‘Thanks.’ Steve said turning the key and letting them all into the house.

‘Ouch, why’s it so cold in here brah?’ Chin faked rubbing his arms to warm himself.

‘Mary.’ Steve replied, knowing that that would explain everything.

‘She’s from Hawaii, why does she like it cold?’ Chin asked.

‘She doesn’t, she was trying to adjust the temperature but pressed something, massive popping noise and now it’s on the lowest temperature and won’t shut off.’ Steve shook his head.

‘Ah, I can ask Kono to get one of our cousins to come and have a look if you’d like?’ Chin offered.

‘That’s okay, the thing’s ancient. Would probably cost more to fix than it would to replace it, the guys coming out tomorrow to fit a new one.’ Steve replied ‘hence why she needs a hot water bottle. It’s on my bed Grace, will you go grab it please?’

‘Can I go put other jammies on first?’

‘No, get the hot water bottle and then you can change while I warm it up.’

‘Okay.’ She replied, starting up the stairs while Steve moved towards the kitchen.

‘Beer?’ he offered.

‘Nah, it’s okay.’ Chin shook his head.

Suddenly, Steve heard a scream and then a thump and someone went ‘holy fuck!’

‘Shit.’ Steve swore, reaching for the gun he hid in the breadbin before sprinting upstairs, Chin only a second behind him.

He heard Grace scream again and sprint out of his room.

‘Go to your room Grace now!’ Steve told her, running into his bedroom, gun outstretched.

‘Freeze!’ both he and Chin shouted at the same time.

The dark haired woman stared at them both, her face mortified as the men’s eyes fell on the fact that she was covering up her underwear clad body with one of the bed sheets.

‘Cath?’ Steve said incredulously, lowering his gun.

Steve saw Chin lower his gun, his face moving into a smirk, clearly trying not to laugh.

‘I was going to surprise you, since when did you have a kid!?’ Cath said blushing.

‘You!’ she pointed at Chin ‘can you go for a second so I can at least get dressed please?’

‘Looks like you already had your own personal hot water bottle.’ Chin dug Steve in the ribs before he turned to leave.

‘Kelly. You’re fired.’ Steve joked, pushing the man out of the room.

**Chapter 11**

Steve stepped out of his bedroom to let Catherine dress.

Chin stood smirking at him ‘well, well, Mr McGarrett.’

‘Shut up Chin.’ Steve said, trying to hide a smile and failing.

‘I guess I’ll leave you to it then. Give me a call when you’re not, otherwise occupied.’ Chin extended the final two words, a snigger escaping his lips before he could stop it.

‘Yeah, I’ll call you later. I gotta go and check on Grace.’ Steve said, waving to Chin as he turned to head to Grace’s room.

505050505050

‘Hey Grace?’ Steve said poking his head around the door of her room ‘You okay?’

‘Who was that lady in your room in her panties*?’ Grace asked, hugging the stuffed Dalmatian.

‘That’s Cath, she’s my, um, friend. Cath works in the Navy too.’ Steve sat on the bed next to her.

‘She scared me.’ Grace told him simply.

‘I know, she scared me too, we thought something bad had happened to you.’

‘Daddy says you’re never scared.’

‘I am sometimes; I’m scared of anything happening to you.’ Steve told her.

‘Danno always said that too.’ Grace sniffed slightly.

‘It was true.’

‘I miss him and Mommy.’ Grace looked up.

‘So do I sweetie, Catherine is sorry for scaring you.’ Steve touched Grace’s chin.

Grace nodded ‘I’m sorry that I screamed.’

‘It’s okay; you didn’t know who she was. Now come on, let’s get you changed and into bed. Steve said, turning around to the pile of boxes which held some of Grace’s stuff that he’d brought from Rachel’s.

He hadn’t been able to face sorting through Danny’s apartment, but he knew that the tenant would want to get a new renter into it soon. Steve knew he wasn’t allowed to pay the rent until he managed to face up to sorting through everything.

He got some of Grace’s pyjamas out of the boxes and helped her to change into them.

She climbed into bed, dragging the stuffed dog with her as she snuggled into the duvet.

‘Sleep tight okay? I’m only downstairs if you need me.’ Steve said, brushing her hair away from her eyes.

‘Okay.’ Grace replied.

‘See you in the morning.’ Steve told her, kissing her forehead.

‘Night Uncle Steve, I love you.’ Grace whispered, her eyes already closing.

Her words shocked Steve for a second, before a huge grin stretched across his face.

‘I love you too, Gracie.’

5050505050

Steve walked out of the room, still grinning, when he caught sight of Catherine leaning against the wall.

She gave him a small apologetic smile ‘hey.’

‘Well, hello.’ Steve’s expression softened.

‘I’m sorry I scared her. Though I am wondering how you have an eight year old.’ Catherine asked ‘I’m a little out of touch, we’ve only really had contact with base and they never tell us anything from home that doesn’t concern us. They think it distracts us. It was one of those missions.’ Cath said, raising her eyebrows and knowing that Steve would understand what she meant.

‘Yeah. Come downstairs and I’ll explain. You want a beer?’ Steve led her downstairs.

 _This has to be a first, usually we’re rushing in the opposite direction,_ Steve thought.

‘Sure, why not.’ Catherine replied with a look that read, after this discussion I’m pretty sure I’ll need the one.

‘Okay.’  Steve nodded, fetching her a beer from the fridge before coming to sit down on the sofa next to her.

‘Why do you have a kid?’

‘She’s not mine, well, she is now, but she’s my partner’s daughter.’ Steve felt his breath catch.

‘What?’

‘He was killed, surely you heard that?’

‘Oh my God! No, nothing!’ Cath looked at him shocked.

Steve rubbed his forehead.

‘What happened to him?’ he heard her ask gently, but it was too late.

The images had risen before he could push them down.

He saw the car, the explosion.

Danny, oh god Danny.

He saw the car crush him. The same image that had been haunting him since that day.

Grace’s face, Kono’s face as she tried to hold it together.

They’d seen more than anyone should at such a young age.

Steve had witnessed death many times.

He’d heard his father die, heard the policeman tell his father of his mother’s death.

But nothing had ever hit him as hard as this and he didn’t think anything ever would.

Why Danny? Out of everyone?

And on his wedding day.

Steve felt the tears he’d been able to repress rising with the images.

Fuck.

He saw Wo Fat’s face sitting across the table from him, laughing.

‘It was all my fault.’ Steve choked.

**Chapter 12**

The tears came before Steve could stop them, everything that had been boiling up spilling out.

‘Fuck. Steve.’ Catherine reached for him.

‘What happened?’ she asked.

And for the first time in a long time, Steve needed to talk. He needed someone there who understood. Who wouldn’t judge him.

Who wouldn’t think he was weak.

Because that was how he felt.

_So fucking weak._

For the first time since he’d met Danny, he opened up to someone else.

He told her everything.

Everything that had happened with his father, the tool box, Mary being kidnapped, Danny being injured and now killed.

He told her everything about Grace and how he had come to adopt her, about how she had gotten sick.

And for once he had a person who listened. Not like Danny, who would frequently cut in with his own opinions.

God Steve missed that.

Danny’s rants, his stupid tie, his elaborate hand gestures, just everything.

‘Cath, what have I done?’ Steve asked, taking a deep breath and wiping his eyes.

‘Nothing Steve, you’ve done absolutely nothing wrong. You didn’t know Wo Fat was going to turn on Danny. Hell, you should be dead too, not just Danny and their family. There was a bomb in your truck too. You saved Grace’s life getting her away. You can’t control everything in your life Steve. Sometimes shit just happens and you can’t stop it. The only thing you can do for Danny now is to look after Grace and bring Wo Fat to justice.’ Cath put her hands either side of Steve’s face, forcing him to look at her.

‘But if I’d just left things alone, then Danny would still be alive.’

‘No, he wouldn’t. From what you’ve told me about Wo Fat I don’t think it would have made a difference. You say he doesn’t like loose ends. Well you were always a loose end. Although you might not have been pursuing him, you still knew too much. There was always the possibility that you might come after him. You were a loose end. So, surely that means he was always going to be after you?’

Steve started to shake his head.

‘Hey, are you not listening to me Sailor*?’ Catherine said, her voice rising ‘if you truly blamed yourself then why did you take on Grace? If you truly blamed yourself then how can you stand to look that little girl in the face?’

Steve opened his mouth but again she cut him off.

‘Steve, the answer is, you don’t have an answer to why it happened. I know you, you like to have a reason for everything. Everything has to be cut and dried. Sorted out like a case would be. But sometimes you can’t do that. You don’t blame yourself; you’re just using it as an excuse. Danny was always under threat doing the job he did. He would have been under threat as a Detective working here or New Jersey or freaking Africa! There was always the risk that someone would try and shut him up or take revenge. Danny knew that when he signed up for the job. Wo Fat just beat them all to it. You can’t help it; the man is obviously a maniac. So all you can do is catch him.’

Steve nodded and put his head in his hands ‘it just hurts so much, he was more than my partner, he was like family. I trusted him with my life. I’ve never trusted anyone like I did him. Hell, he took a bullet only an hour after meeting me and didn’t run a mile.’

‘Exactly, he knew the risks and he chose to accept them.’

Steve opened his mouth to object again but the woman shut it with a finger.

‘You’re beginning to look like a fish. Let me ask you a question.’ She paused ‘did you set the bomb?’

‘What the! NO!’ Steve jerked back.

‘No, I’m not accusing you of anything! Just hear me out. Did you know about the bomb?’

Steve shook his head, not quite sure where this was going.

‘Did you detonate the bomb?’

‘No.’

‘Did you push Danny into the burning car?’

‘No.’

‘Then how on earth is it your fault?’ Cath threw her arms up.

Steve shrugged, there was sense in her words.

‘Grace doesn’t blame you. Right?’ Cath asked.

‘No, she doesn’t.’

‘Then why do you blame yourself? You had nothing to do with it.’ Cath moved closer and kissed Steve’s forehead.

‘I don’t know. I just..’

‘I know, you just figured. But figuring ain’t good for you. Dwelling sends you crazy. I know all about it and so do you. We’ve seen things that some people can’t even  imagine. And none of it is our fault, we just take it as part of the job. I know it’s hard, but this was just part of Danny’s job, he took the risks everyday and he knew the risks. So stop beating yourself up or I’ll do it for you. Grace needs you. You can’t keep it all bottled up and you can’t blame yourself. You should follow the Doctor’s opinion and go to therapy yourself. There’s no sense in being a martyr. Go and talk to someone. It’ll make you feel better. Same for your team. From the sounds of it they’re not doing so good either.’ Cath told him, poking him in the chest.

‘Since when did you get so wise, Miss Rollins?’ Steve asked, forcing a slight smile.

‘I don’t know, maybe I’m destined to become a therapist.’ She joked ‘now, why are there boxes everywhere?’

‘It’s some of Grace’s stuff.’ Steve told her, thinking about the fact that the ache in the pit of his stomach, although still there, had lessened slightly.

‘Have you sorted through Danny’s things yet?’

‘No, I couldn’t face it.’ Steve admitted.

‘Well sailor, don’t you think you’d better get to it?’ she said.

‘Probably.’

‘How about we start now then, your sister just pulled up outside.’ Cath told him, standing.

‘Yessir.’ Steve sighed, rubbing his eyes to try and hide the fact that they were still red and watery.

‘Go get your coat then.’

**Chapter 13**

Steve followed Cath out to the Camaro and climbed in, pulling out his cell and hitting Chin’s number.

‘McGarrett?’

‘Hey, Chin, we’re gonna go and sort out Danny’s apartment and bring the last of Grace’s stuff. I was wondering if you and Kono would come too’ Steve asked the older man.

‘Sure, I’m on my way over to her parent’s house now, I’ll meet you there. Might be good for her’ Chin told him.

‘Thanks brah.’ Steve said, hanging up.

‘Where are you going?’ Mary asked coming over to the truck.

‘We’re gonna clear out Danny’s apartment and get the rest of Grace’s stuff.’ Steve repeated.

‘Ah, okay, bring dinner with you.’

‘Mary! You just went for groceries. Grace needs something decent, not fast food.’ Steve scolded.

‘Fine, I’ll cook,’ Mary huffed ‘later big brother.’

Steve shook his head and pushed his key into the ignition, pulling off as soon as the engine started.

************

It was almost twenty minutes before Chin and Kono arrived.

Even with Catherine there Steve couldn’t bring himself to go into the apartment.

He looked at Kono as she got out of the car.

Fuck, the kid looked awful, like she’d not slept in weeks.

He knew she had a hard time with change, Chin had told him that for weeks after her surfing accident she’d lay in bed and cried, not knowing what the future held for her.

Kono looked at him with haunted eyes and Steve saw her start to crumble.

‘Hey, hey.’ He was out of the car in an instant.

She flew towards him, not caring that Cath or Chin were there and buried her head in his chest.

‘I can’t, I just can’t believe he’s gone.’ He heard her sob.

‘I’m sorry.’ He heard Chin say over Kono’s sobs.

‘It’s fine, there’s nothing to be sorry for.’ Steve told him quietly, awkwardly rubbing the young rookie’s back.

‘Hell, Steve I’m sorry, I’m a bit of a mess.’ Kono admitted, stepping back and wiping her eyes.

‘It’s fine, we’re all a mess right now Kono, like Cath and Grace’s doctor said to me, maybe therapy would be a good idea. Just to get everything out there that you need to say. There’s no use bottling it all up. I just found that out.’ Steve gave Catherine a small smile that she returned.

‘There’s no weakness in crying, Kono. We all do it, McGarrett included.’ Cath nodded to Kono.

Chin nodded in agreement, though Steve had never seen him cry.

Everyone grieved in their own way.

‘Let’s go get this sorted.’ Steve said to her ‘all Danny’s clothes can go to the homeless shelter I guess. No one else would fit into them. Anything of Grace’s or anything that looks like it might have sentimental value we put in one box and then we’ll sort those out later.’ Steve told them, figuring that businesslike was the best way of going about this.

‘Okay.’ Kono nodded.

*********

Steve unlocked the door to the apartment and looked inside at his partners old home.

Just like Danny, it was neat and precise.

Steve smiled sadly thinking of what Danny had said to him in the first week of them working together.

_‘I like to look like a professional.’_

This was going to be harder than he thought.Top of Form

‘Let’s get started.’ He said.

****************

Steve had started in the bathroom, clearing all of the old toiletries away into the trash when he heard Kono shout for him.

‘What?’ he asked hurrying out.

‘It’s addressed to you.’ She held out a letter ‘I found it with all of this.’

Kono handed him a shoebox.

Steve took them both, slowly looking at the envelope addressed with his name.

Chin and Catherine turned to look at him as he slipped his finger into the corner of the letter and ripped the top straight across.

Slowly he unfolded the pieces of paper inside and looked down at Danny’s neat writing.

_‘Steve, there are some things I need to ask, well tell you, in the event that the worst happens.’_

Steve felt his throat tighten and he sat back onto the bed.

**Chapter 14**

_‘Steve,_

_There are some things I need to ask, well tell you, in the event that the worst happens. I need you first off, to give Grace this box, it’s important. You’re the only one I can trust with this. Rachel might try to hide it from her in case it would upset her more but I want her to have them. And I need her to have my will. It’s got all the details of her trust fund and what will happen to my savings etc if I were to die. I don’t know how old she’ll be if you ever  have to read this, so if she’s not old enough, will you help to sort it out for her._

_Don’t let her get out of school, she always tries. And please don’t let her get behind on school, she’s my little genius._

_I know that no matter what happens you’ll blame yourself. Even if I fall off a cliff or crash my car into a lamppost you’ll find a way to blame yourself. Don’t do it or I will come and kick your ass into next week. Comprende? You listening super SEAL? It is not your fault (unless you got me shot again in which case I will come back to haunt you)._

_I want you to have my car (it’s practically yours anyway!) and Kono can have my surfboard (that was only ever used for an hour) to use it or give it to that surfing club she helps out with. Make sure it gets some use. Chin, you can have a choice of my ties (I know you hate them and don’t own one so there you go).’_

There was a paragraph that had been scrubbed out but Steve could still just about read it.

‘ _ ~~don’t let Rachel try and tell Grace that everything was my fault. And don’t let Stan let her do stupid things. I know you legally can’t have a say but show Rachel this and tell her that Grace is still my daughter too. Don’t let them bring her up to hate me. Everything I did was for her.~~ ’_

Steve frowned but carried on reading, this paragraph was newer, and it was in a different colour than the rest of the letter.

‘ _I know now that the last paragraph doesn’t apply anymore, what with me and Rachel getting remarried. So this is instead of it. I know things are hotting up with Wo Fat now and I don’t know, I just have one of those feelings about it, so I’m writing this now just in case. If anything happens to me and Rachel (and it is still NOT your fault!) will you look after Grace for me? My Ma is getting too old to be starting again and Rachel’s mother still  hates me. I don’t want Grace growing up hating me and thinking that her mother was an idiot for leaving Stan, which is her Mother’s opinion on everything. I know you’re not good with kids but Gracie loves you and I know you, Chin and Kono are probably the only people who can look after her properly. Please don’t let her go into care, she doesn’t deserve it. You’re the only ones I’d trust with her. I know Rachel has some money put away for Grace too, so I guess you’ll be hearing from her lawyer soon enough._

_Look, I know what I’m writing sounds stupid, but I know what our job is like. You do too. I mean, look at Meka. Found burnt in a food pit. It just shows that you never know what’s going to happen. So, I guess I’ve said mostly what I wanted to say (quite short for me I have to say) but I wanted to say thank you to you all. You’ve been the best team I could have ever asked for. Yes, McGarrett you included, even though you are a maniac and you never think before you act. And you never apologise for getting people shot. Try not to get yourself killed please. And no matter what, don’t give up on your father’s investigation, it’s important. Just to let you know, your apology for getting my shot has been accepted. I’ll miss you Steve._

_See you soon._

_Danno’_

Steve looked up at his team, his eyes brimming but he quickly wiped his eyes.

Silent tears were already running down Kono’s face.

‘What does it say?’ Chin asked and Steve held out the piece of paper to him.

Chin took it and started to read, Cath and Kono leaning over his shoulder reading it at the same time.

When they had finished Chin handed the letter back to Steve and sighed ‘Danny knew. He was a clever man. I always took him for a bit of a spur of the moment type.’

‘Not when it came to Grace.’ Steve told them ‘he knew this was always a possibility, especially with Wo Fat. He wanted to look after Grace no matter what. God knows how much money he’s been putting aside for her when he could have done with the money for himself.’

Kono nodded ‘he was a good man. All he cared about was his Ohana.’

‘Yeah, he was.’ Steve looked through the rest of the box.

Photo’s of Grace when she was a baby.

Photo’s of Danny, Rachel and Grace in the hospital when she was just born.

Photo’s of her Grandparents with Grace, her brand new little face red from where it looked like she’d been crying.

Then lastly, a picture of the team with Grace at Christmas.

The caption on the back read ‘my first Hawaiian Christmas. Great even though it’s too hot to be Christmas.’

Steve laughed, some things just never changed.

Danny had never change.

Steve knew that life would go on, him with Grace, but Danny would never be forgotten.

He’d always be part of the team.

**Chapter 15**

It had been almost a week since the team had sorted through Danny’s apartment.

All three of them had been in contact with the therapist recommended by the doctor, Lily.

Chin and Kono had already been to see her and the difference she had made to Kono was astounding.

Steve had no idea what had gone on but his rookie had come out of her session with a new lease for life.

She was itching to get back to work.

Chin had merely shrugged and said ‘that’s just how Kono works’ when Steve had questioned him about her sudden change in attitude.

Cath was called back to work, which surprised Steve; usually she was left alone when she was on leave.

She had called him to apologise, saying that it was an urgent mission, she had to go.

Steve couldn’t tell whether it was because she wasn’t getting what she was used to, Steve on tap whenever they wanted, or because she actually wanted to go.

He had never met her family, hell, he didn’t even know if she had a family!

Grace had seemed to bounce back from her illness and although she was nowhere near ‘better’ yet, Steve could see a little of her old sparkle returning.

After returning to Rachel’s new apartment to find Mr Hoppy missing in action (from the looks of the hutch he had decided to chew his way out and escape) Steve found himself the centre of Grace’s pleas for a new pet.

Namely, a puppy.

Great.

Steve didn’t have the time or the patience for a puppy.

After he had researched it, he concluded that they weren’t home enough for a puppy, it wouldn’t be fair. They needed to be let out every few hours and weren’t happy to be left alone all day.

However, he knew that Grace’s birthday was coming up in two weeks, so he rang an old contact who trained the dogs that the Navy used for the bomb detection units.

He knew how many dogs were rejected throughout the training process and that a lot of them ended up either back at the breeders or at a rehoming centre.

‘You want a Rottweiler, McGarrett? Something fierce looking?’ Mark had joked.

‘It’s for my little girl Grace, let me know if anything comes up that doesn’t look menacingly like it’s going to rip your throat out. Don’t ring my house though, I don’t want her to find out, it’s for her birthday.’ Steve had told him.

‘Cute and fluffy, got it. We got a load of spaniels and retrievers coming in next week. I’ll give you a call then if I’ve got any failures.’ Mark laughed.

‘Thanks, I want it to be friendly though.’

‘They’re out in public all day everyday on the job, mate, they have to be good with people!’ Mark told him.

‘True. Thanks a lot. Look forward to hearing from you.’ Steve had said, hanging up.

How had he gotten himself into this?

505050505050

Grace’s principal had told Steve that Grace could start school again after the week holiday they had coming up the following week.

That was good; it gave her chance to have a few sessions with Lily before she went back.

It also gave Steve time to prepare her for returning and him going back to work.

Kalei had already been telling him her plans and the fact that if he was working late she could help her do her homework and give her her tea.

Steve had also spoken to her about the idea of the dog and she was fine with it, as long as it was house trained.

‘I’m not shovelling any accidents!’ she had told him with a smile.

505050505050

Steve had phoned the therapist, Lily and had agreed to bring Grace later on today.

The little girl had said she didn’t want to do, claiming that only naughty people went to therapy.

‘Who told you that Grace?’ Steve had asked.

‘Mommy.’

‘Well, Grace, Mommy was wrong because you go to therapy when something bad happens because it helps you to get better. I go and Danno went and Uncle Chin and Auntie Kono go too. It helps because we can go and talk to them and it makes you feel better. Honestly, and I’m going with you so you’re not on your own.’ Steve told her.

‘Okay. How long do I have to stay?’ she asked.

‘As long as you want to.’ Steve said, ‘I’ll be right outside. The woman is called Lily and she’s really. really nice. Chin and Kono went to speak to her and they said she’s lovely.’

‘Can I have a puppy?’

‘No. You’re not pulling that one on me. I told you, I’m at work too much for a puppy.’ Steve touched her chin and smiled.

‘Steve.’ Grace whined ‘I don’t have Mr Hoppy anymore, that’s not fair.’

‘It’s not fair; you can’t keep a puppy locked up in the house all day.’

‘Fine.’ Grace huffed slightly.

**Chapter 16**

Steve arrived at the clinic with Grace in tow almost half an hour before her appointment was due to start.

‘So, we can go for fried chicken after I’ve been to see Lily?’ Grace asked.

‘Yes,’ Steve rubbed his eyes and sighed.

That was the deal, no puppy, instead fried chicken.

 _No puppy my ass,_ Steve had thought, thinking again about her birthday and deciding that he was way too much of a soft touch.

Lily met them outside her room and shook hands with Steve before crouching down to say hello to Grace.

‘So Grace, how are you today.’ Lily asked.

‘Good, Steve says we can go for fried chicken when we’re done.’ Grace told her cheerfully.

Steve shook his head and pinched his nose as the therapist looked up at him.

‘Grace, why don’t you go and wait in my room for a minute okay?’ Lily told her, smiling at the little girl.

‘Okay.’ Grace nodded, walking into the room.

‘Bribery Commander McGarrett?’ the therapist turned to him and smiled.

‘Her Mom had told her that therapy was for naughty people. I managed to talk her down from a puppy to fried chicken,’ Steve explained with a helpless shrug ‘I’m still learning the ropes here.’

‘Children are hard work and therapy does have its well known stereotypes. I can see why her mother may have held that perception.’ Lily nodded understandingly ‘I’ll go and talk to her, I would prefer it if you stayed out here. Children are less likely to open up with a parent or carer in the room. Not that I’m trying to say you’re pushy or whatever, it’s just a fact I’ve often found.’

Steve nodded; he needed to make a few calls anyway.

‘I’ll come and get you if we need you.’ She said disappearing into the room and closing the door behind her.

Steve sighed again and sat down in one of the armchairs that were dotted around the waiting area.

He couldn’t help but feel concerned that this might only make Grace worse.

Reliving the events of that day over and over again to a stranger.

But, the stranger was a woman.

Maybe Grace would find it easier to talk to a woman than she did talking to him?

Steve didn’t know.

 _Fuck, I’m so bad with kids. Danno was right._ He thought rubbing his forehead again.

_Stop doing that! It’s becoming like a nervous twitch!_

Steve could almost imagine Danny scolding him for it, as his mother would have done when Steve was a child.

He knew what it was like to grow up practically without a parent.

It wasn’t as easy as people thought.

Maybe Grace would be different, after all, she had him and Chin and Kono and their family.

She would have people around her all the time.

It wouldn’t be the same, but he knew that his team would do their best for the little girl no matter what, for Danny.

505050

It was almost fifty minutes later when Grace returned to him, with puffy, red eyes.

‘Steve!’ she ran over and threw her arms around his neck, still hiccupping from the tears.

‘You okay?’ he asked, worriedly glancing up at Lily.

‘I am now.’ Grace replied.

‘Good, look, why don’t you stay here for a second while me and Lily talk okay?’ Steve said lifting the little girl up as he stood before setting her back down on the chair.

Grace nodded.

‘Two minutes.’ Steve promised, earning himself another nod.

Once he and Lily were back inside the room the therapist turned to him.

‘Well, she’s doing really well, all things considering. She had nothing but good things to say about you and Chin and Kono and her parents.’

Steve felt himself relax slightly; he hadn’t wanted the woman to think he was failing as a parent.

‘She needs to go back to school, she’s a bright kid and her thoughts are running away with her. She told me about the nightmares she’s been having. The ones where you die as well as her parents and her Grandmother is telling her that it’s all her father’s fault.’ Lily raised her eyebrow slightly.

‘Danny and his mother-in-law had a strained relationship. She didn’t like the fact that he was a cop.’ Steve explained ‘she didn’t think he was good enough for Rachel.’

Lily nodded ‘that makes more sense now. She needs to come back probably every week, especially when she starts school again, but she will get better. She’ll never fully get over it, but if you and your team keep doing whatever it is that you’re doing, she’ll get through it. You’re doing an amazing job for someone who apparently is ‘terrible with kids’ Steve. ’

‘Who told you that?’ Steve asked, shocked, did Grace think he was bad with her?

‘She said that her father had laughed about it but that she thought you were great.’ Lily explained, seeing the shock on Steve’s face.

‘Oh, okay. Thank you Lily.’ Steve smiled, shaking the little woman’s hand.

‘No problem. Same time next week?’

‘See you then.’ Steve nodded turning and walking out of the room to where Gracie was sat.

When she saw him the little girl jumped up.

‘Are we going for fried chicken now?’ she asked, practically bouncing.

Steve rubbed his forehead.

With her around, he was pretty much guaranteed to end up with a nervous twitch.

**Chapter 17**

‘Grace, please come out of your room. This is getting ridiculous.’ Steve said, leaning against the little girl’s locked bedroom door.

Why hadn’t he taken the lock off?

‘No! I told you I didn’t want to go back to school because Danno can’t pick me up!’ Grace shouted from inside her bedroom.

Steve groaned, this excuse was wearing thin, she had discussed it with Lily the day before and even Lily had concluded that although ‘no Danno’ had originally been a genuine reason, Grace was now playing on it in order to get more time off school.

‘Grace, I swear, if you don’t come out of the room I’m going to break it down. You have to go to school!’ Steve shouted back.

‘Steve, this isn’t helping.’ Mary told him, leaning against her suitcase ‘and I need to be at the airport.’

‘You won’t!’ Grace shouted.

‘Do you want to bet?’ Steve said ‘Mary, I’m sorry, but we tried being nice, and look where that’s got us.’

‘You can’t make me go to school.’

‘Again, do you want to bet?’ Steve said ‘right I’ve had enough. Grace I’m coming in.’

‘No, okay.’

‘No, okay what? No, okay I won’t come in or no, okay you’ll open the door.’

Steve heard the latch on the door shifting as Grace came out, fully dressed in her uniform with her backpack trailing behind her.

‘Gracie, you have to go to school honey, just like I have to go to work. Danno won’t be at work today with me either and that upsets me too.’ Steve repeated, for what seemed like the thousandth time.

‘I know, but I just miss him and Mommy so much.’ Grace hurriedly wiped her eyes, not wanting to cry, although Steve could see that her eyes were already red from tears.

‘I know sweetie, but Mommy and Danno will be with you, all the time.’ Steve told her ‘and remember what we said? If you go back to school you can have an extra special present for your birthday at the end of the week.’

‘Steve, that’s bribery. You shouldn’t bribe kids.’ Mary muttered under her breath.

‘Did you have any other ideas? No, I didn’t think so!’ Steve hissed  back quietly.

Grace smirked slightly, amused, she knew how often Steve and Mary argued.

‘Okay, so are we ready to go and drop Mary off at the airport?’ Steve said.

‘Yeah, before I miss my flight and get stuck with Steve any longer.’ Mary joked.

‘I like Steve.’ Grace told her, moving to walk down the stairs.

‘I know, I know, everybody loves Steve.’ Mary grinned, giving her brother a dig in the ribs.

‘Get lost, little sister.’ Steve pushed her back, glad that the situation had been resolved without him having to buy a new door.

505050

Grace cried when they dropped Mary off at the check-in gate.

Mary cried too as she hugged the little girl, promising to come back as soon as she could.

‘You look after Steve for me? I know everyone thinks he’s a tough guy but he’s a big softie really.’ Mary said to Grace, smiling at her brother who shook his head.

‘Hey, don’t be telling everyone that, it’ll ruin my reputation.’ Steve joked, stepping forward to hug Mary.

‘I’ll miss you. You should come visit me in L.A sometime.’ Mary told him, squeezing him tightly.

‘I’ll miss you to Mary, we’ll come and see you soon okay? In summer.’

‘Better had do McGarrett.’ She warned jokingly.

Steve smiled as she pulled away.

‘Promise.’ Steve nodded.

‘I have to go,’ Mary told him as the overhead speakers announced that the flight was being called.

‘Bye!’ Grace shouted, waving at her.

‘Bye troubles.’ Mary grinned, wiping a tear from her eye and waving at them both.

505050

They watched her go until she was completely out of sight.

Steve felt his heart swell as Grace reached up and took his hand ‘it’ll be okay Uncle Steve, she’ll be back soon.’

Steve almost laughed ‘I know Gracie, I know. Now come on, or we’ll be late for school.’

‘I don’t want to go to school.’ Grace mumbled, following Steve as he led her back towards the exit.

‘I know, but the sooner you go back, the less work you’ll have to catch up on. So less homework,’ Steve told her ‘and Kalei is going to pick you up from school so you can see Kono tonight too when we get home from work.’

‘Can we go surfing?’ Grace asked, excitedly.

‘Not tonight, I think we’ll have a lot of homework to do tonight.’ Steve replied honestly.

‘I don’t like homework.’ Grace chuffed.

‘There’s not much about school you do like is there Grace?’ Steve smiled, squeezing her hand.

‘No.’

50505050

‘Come on Grace, it’ll be fine, I promise. See your teacher is waiting at the door for you, we’re not late, so no, we can’t go home.’ Steve said, lifting Grace out of the Camaro and handing her her rucksack before pushing her towards the school entrance.

‘Hi Grace,’ the woman greeted her enthusiastically ‘are you all set for your lessons today?’

‘Yes miss.’ Grace muttered.

‘Well, why don’t you run on inside and find Laura?’ the teacher said.

‘Okay.’ Grace nodded turning back to Steve.

Steve knelt down as she said ‘bye Uncle Steve.’

‘Bye Gracie, have a good day and I’ll see you later okay?’ Steve said kissing her forehead.

‘Bye.’ Grace threw her arms around him, hugging him tightly ‘will you be home for dinner?’

‘Yeah, course, I’ll be home way before dinner.’ Steve nodded.

‘Okay, see you later.’  Grace said walking past her teacher and into the building.

‘Look, she wasn’t very happy this morning,’ Steve told the teacher ‘can you keep an eye on her please?’

‘Of course,’ the woman replied with a smile, as Steve watched Grace all the way down the corridor until she turned into her classroom.

**Chapter 18**

Steve was surprised that he made it to lunchtime before the phone call he’d been waiting for came through to his cell from the school.

‘Mr McGarrett? This is Miss Mahoney calling about Grace, she has locked herself in the bathroom and is refusing to come out. She is extremely upset and it crying, asking for you. Is there any chance you can come down here and pick her up please?’

Steve sighed, and after promising to be there shortly, he hung up, glancing at his partner’s old office.

‘Danny, why did you have to go?’ Steve muttered, fighting back a sudden surge of emotion.

‘Chin, I have to go and sort Grace out, call me if we get a case okay?’ Steve said to the older man.

‘No worries brah.’ Chin nodded, returning to stare blankly at the screen of his computer, though Steve knew that he didn’t see anything that was written on the screen.

It had been quiet all day, no one had sent them a case, no one had even called.

 _They knew,_ Steve decided.

They knew what the death of Danny would do to 5-0. They also knew that the ‘superSEAL McGarrett’ famous for being as unpredictable as he was lethal, had adopted his former partner’s child.

Most people wouldn’t have done it.

Steve knew this.

Most people would have sent her off into care, claiming that that was the best thing for her.

Steve also knew that this was a lie.

505050

A teacher, he presumed to be Miss Mahoney met him at the door.

She was an older woman, his Mom would have described her as a ‘battle axe’, with short, curly black hair.

‘We need to get her out of the bathroom.’ Miss Mahoney told him ‘I know her parents just died, but she shouldn’t be back in school if she wasn’t ready.’

Steve’s head snapped around to look at the woman, giving her a steely look ‘excuse me?’

‘She shouldn’t be in school if she can’t handle it.’ The woman repeated.

‘She’s been seeing a therapist almost three times a week since the accident, myself and Lily, her therapist, both agreed that it was time for Grace to go back to school. Of course she can’t handle it, it’s her first day back, but the longer she has away from school, the less chance she has of being able to return and cope with it! She has to learn how to handle it again, how would you feel if you watched your parents die. Could you cope with that? Could you cope with seeing them being blown up every night in your sleep. Could you cope with being sent back to school, knowing that at the end of the day your parents aren’t waiting at home for you?’ Steve spat scathingly at the woman, knowing that his anger wasn’t solely directed at her, but not being able to stop himself.

Miss Mahoney stopped, stunned into silence.

Steve rubbed his forehead and waited for her to start walking again.

He couldn’t bring himself to apologise, he didn’t deserve her judgement, nor did Grace.

‘She’s in there,’ the woman pointed to a door that had the security guard and another teacher, Steve guessed, stood outside it.

He walked up to the door and knocked lightly.

‘Hey Gracie, it’s Steve, you gonna open the door so that I can talk to you?’ he asked gently, leaning his ear against the door so that he could hear any response.

‘Uncle Steve, are you mad?’ he heard her sniff.

‘No, I’m not mad, how about you come out here okay sweetie?’ Steve said, pinching the bridge of his nose and wishing all the staff would just leave for a second.

‘Okay,’ he heard her mumble as she unlocked the door.

It was like déjà vu.

She opened the door and he knelt down to her level.

‘I’m sorry Uncle Steve,’ she sniffed, wiping her eyes as she hugged him, pressing her face into his shirt as he lifted her into his arms.

‘You want to tell me what happened?’ Steve asked quietly.

‘They treated me different. They were always asking me if I was okay, and then Tommy kept making jokes about Danno.’ Grace said, gentle sobs wracking her small frame.

‘What do you mean they treated you different?’ Steve asked.

‘One of the teachers said to another teacher that they had to keep an eye on me because I was a mess.’ Grace replied honestly.

Steve sighed, that was his fault, he’d asked them to watch her.

‘It’s okay Gracie, they just wanted to make sure that you weren’t upset. They want you to be happy again like Danno and Mommy and me do too.’ Steve told her, rubbing her back gently as she clung to him.

‘I  know, but I’m not a mess, I’m clean.’ Grace said, making Steve smile slightly at her mistake.

‘I know honey, what do you say we go home, and we have something to eat and then we come back tomorrow and start again. Does that sound okay?’ Steve asked her.

He felt her nod into his chest and he leaned down, still holding her tightly to pick up her backpack.

‘Okay then, let’s go.’

**Chapter 19**

‘Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to Gracie, Happy Birthday to you!’ Steve, Kono and Chin sang as they walked into Grace’s bedroom, armed with presents wrapped in the bright pink paper that Kono had picked out for all of them, claiming that the boys were hopeless.

Steve saw Grace smile, probably not expecting them to get her anything.

‘Up you get birthday girl,’ Steve said as they all sat on the edge, of her bed and waited until she sat up before dumping their gifts onto her lap.

‘Thank you,’ Grace beamed at them.

‘Hau'oli lā hānau Grace,’ Chin smiled back.

‘Go ahead Grace, open your presents,’ Kono urged excitedly even though she knew what most of them were.

Steve smiled at the rookie, seeing a glimpse of Christmas’ with her own kids when she got older.

‘Okay.’ Grace smiled picking up the first of Chin’s gifts.

A Tuberose Lei with orchids which was a beautiful pink and white mix of flowers.

‘Thank you Uncle Chin.’ Grace said honestly.

The lei was stunning, perfect for Grace.

The next present from Chin was a surfer Barbie (that Steve was pretty sure Kono picked out) and lastly was a wetsuit that Steve knew cost way more than Chin would be willing to admit.

‘Thank you.’ Grace grinned, reaching over to hug the older man.

‘You’re welcome Grace. Happy Birthday.’ Chin kissed her forehead.

Then game Kono’s presents, a Hawaiian grass skirt with matching top with a promise that she would teach her the dance, a normal dress (which even Steve had to admit, was very cute) and lastly a child’s sized surfboard that Kono claimed was ‘the best board you would ever find’ as it had been the board she learnt on as a kid.

‘Thank you.’ Grace told her hugging her too.

‘Mine next!’ Steve urged, smiling at the happiness in Grace’s eyes.

He hadn’t seen that look in a while.

Steve knew he had gone slightly overboard with his gifts but he didn’t care, after everything that had happened, she deserved some happiness in her life, and anyway, before her he had never had anything to spend his money on other than on Cath’s fleeting visits.

Steve watched as Grace pulled out the clothes he had bought, then the new dolphin trainer Ken, then the gift vouchers he had bought for her which would enable her to pick out whatever she wanted to re-decorate her new room. He had also gotten her a new phone, saying that she could call him whenever, even if he was at work, but claiming that the first time a boy called he would personally see to it that the phone ended up underneath his truck, accidentally of course.

Grace had laughed, opening the next gift, a party dress.

‘You need to hold onto that one,’ Steve winked at her.

‘Okay.’ Grace smiled, pulling the last package towards her.

A rectangular box, around the size of a shoebox.

Grace frowned slightly as she ripped the paper, confused, as it was too light to be shoes.

Her face changed the second she saw the contents of the box.

A leather collar and lead.

‘Really?’ she squealed at Steve.

‘Yeah, really, but not a puppy, a fully grown dog.’ Steve clarified as Grace threw herself at him

‘Okay, a real dog!’ she squeaked, clutching him around the neck so tightly that Steve began to fear for his life.

‘Yeah, a real dog.’ Steve laughed.

Kono shot him a smile and a look that said _‘you’re such a pushover McGarrett.’_

Steve shrugged at her.

505050

‘So I don’t have to go to school and you don’t have to go to work?’ Grace repeated for the third time.

‘That’s right, because we are going to see a man about a dog.’

‘And I get to pick?’

‘As long as you pick one that is right for us, then yes, you get to pick.’ Steve nodded.

‘When can we go?’

‘When you have actually eaten breakfast.’

‘I’ve had enough!’ Grace protested.

‘Well it’s only nine o’clock and we can’t be there until ten o’clock, so you have time to finish, now come on, eat.’ Steve handed her the spoon for her cereal.

505050

Grace literally bounced all the way to the Navy training base, diving out of the car as soon as Steve pulled up the handbrake.

‘Are you excited or something?’ Steve joked as she ran around to his side of the car, clutching the collar and lead.

‘Come on, come on!’ Grace grabbed his hand, pulling him towards the entrance, where Steve could see Mark waiting.

‘You must be Gracie,’ Mark said, greeting the little girl and shaking Steve’s hand.

‘Are you going to help us pick a dog?’ Grace asked.

‘I sure am little lady, I got a few waiting for you to look at that I think might be perfect for you.’ Mark smiled at her.

Grace beamed up at him.

‘Come on then, let’s go.’ Mark said, walking towards a different compound, where Steve could already hear the barking associated with kennels.

Once they were inside the compound, Mark led them to a large room.

‘Wait here for one second and I’ll just bring the dogs in, I picked out around five for you to look at, that okay Steve?’

‘Sure, thanks.’ Steve nodded as Mark disappeared.

Grace stood, watching the door that Mark had disappeared from; swaying on her heals from excitement.

Mark quickly returned with five dogs in tow, their tails wagging and dragging him through the door.

‘These are the five, I can tell you names and ages when you chose the one you want, they’re all under four years old, so none of them are very old.’ Mark told them, releasing one dog off its lead at a time.

The first one, a Springer Spaniel, sprinted towards them, before changing its mind and moving to sniff the room, as did the second dog, a Golden Retriever.

‘I thought those two might be like that, these three should be a lot friendlier. Those two failed at the final hurdle, so have had most of their training, these three are complete newbie’s who couldn’t pay attention long enough to sniff out a treat that was right under their noses.’ Mark told them.

He released the last three dogs as Steve moved to crouch beside Grace.

Two retrievers bounded over to them as the Springer sprinted to join the other dogs, sniffing at the other side of the room.

‘Hey buddy.’ Steve said, stroking the head of the huge golden dog.

Grace was stroking the other, who was doing its utmost to try and jump all over her in an overfriendly gesture.

Steve pushed it away, seeing Grace frown.

‘Here Grace, look at this one,’ Steve inclined his neck towards the dog he was stroking.

Grace moved to stroke the dog, which appeared to be much larger than the other retrievers.

‘Why is this one so much bigger?’ Steve asked Mark.

‘No clue, some just grow more than others, he’s got the appetite to match that size.’ Mark laughed.

‘I like him.’ Grace said, giggling as the dog licked her face as she stroked it.

‘Sold?’ Steve asked her.

Grace nodded ‘I want this one.’

Steve saw Mark smile ‘that took less time than I thought, this is Noah, he’s two years old, housetrained, although expect accidents in the first few days with it being a new house. You want to take him for a walk before we do the paperwork just to check he’s the one?’

Steve nodded, the last thing he wanted to do was rush into getting the dog and then breaking Grace’s heart having to send him back if he wasn’t right.

Mark handed him a lead, which Steve clipped onto the dogs collar.

‘Can we put our collar on him?’ Grace asked.

‘If we take him home you can put our collar on okay?’ Steve told her.

Grace nodded and Steve handed her the lead.

‘Wait by the door Grace,’ Steve told her.

‘Okay, c’mon Noah.’ Grace told the dog, tugging on the lead and walking towards the door, the dog trotting alongside her.

‘You were always a sucker for a pretty face ey McGarrett.’ Mark joked as Steve came over to him.

Steve laughed ‘I just figured it might help her get over everything if she had something else to concentrate on and play with. She had a rabbit before everything happened and I just thought that the pet might help. She wanted a puppy, but I don’t have the time for a puppy, I thought this was a better idea.’

Mark nodded and clapped Steve on the shoulder ‘you’re doing okay man, she’ll be okay.’

‘Thanks brah.’ Steve nodded, walking over to Grace and Noah.

As he got to them, the huge dog suddenly jumped up, put his paws on Steve’s chest and licked his face.

‘Bleugh.’ Steve pushed the dog down gently, wiping his face.

Grace giggled ‘I think he likes you Uncle Steve! See, you can’t not let him come live with us.’

And that was how Noah came to join the family.

**Chapter 20**

‘Grace, leave Noah alone and come get ready.’ Steve joked, looking at the little girl ‘and I thought I told you that he wasn’t allowed on the sofa!’

‘He likes it though; it’s a lot comfier than the floor!’ Grace protested.

‘He has a bed Gracie, like normal dogs, his bed is nice and comfy.’ Steve told her, shooing the dog off the chair.

‘But he wants to sit with us.’ Grace said, a pout appearing on her face.

‘Noah stays on the floor Grace,’ Steve told her firmly, walking up the stairs to switch on the bath for her, returning to find the dog back on the sofa.

Steve sighed and decided to ask Kono or Chin where the best place to buy an afghan for the chair was.

He was a clean freak on a good day, without having to sit on a hair covered chair.

Blankets on the chair he could deal with, they could be shoved in the washing machine once a week.

Sandy paw prints all over his chairs couldn’t be cleaned.

‘Gracie, come on, you need to have a bath and get changed, it’s still your birthday and I said we were going out tonight.’ Steve said, lifting her playfully over the back of the chair.

‘Will Noah be okay on his own?’ Grace asked.

‘I’m sure he’ll be fine, but like I said, he has to live in the kitchen when we go out for a few weeks so that he doesn’t wee everywhere or chew everything.’

‘Only for a few weeks though right?’

‘Just a few, I promise.’ Steve nodded.

‘Okay,’ Grace nodded.

‘Now, in the bath young lady, and then you can wear your new dress.’

‘Where are we going, Uncle Steve?’

‘If I told you then it wouldn’t be a surprise would it?’

‘Is Uncle Chin and Auntie Kono going?’ Grace asked, eyebrows rising.

‘Maybe.’

‘Danno used to say that when he meant yes.’ Grace told him.

 _Fuck,_ Steve thought, waiting for the realisation that this was her first birthday without Danny and Rachel.

‘Lily said that Danno and Mommy would want me to have a good birthday and not be sad. So I’m not being sad.’ Grace told him, looking up at the frozen smile on Steve’s face.

‘Well, that is good.’ Steve nodded.

 _Thank you Lily!_ Steve inwardly thought as he pushed Grace towards the stairs, the retriever suddenly at their sides.

‘Noah, no. Stay downstairs.’ Steve told him, waving his finger at the dog, who sat, wagging his tail along the floor like a windscreen wiper.

‘Good boy.’ Steve said, as him and Grace headed up the stairs.

‘Five minutes, in and out while I go and find your shoes.’ Steve told her as she went into the bathroom.

‘Okay.’ Grace said.

Steve walked into her room and began rummaging through her wardrobe for the pink shoes he swore he’d seen when he unpacked her stuff.

He heard a banging as something ran up the stairs.

‘Bloody disobedient dog,’ Steve muttered, shaking his head but not being able to stop the small smile from spreading across his face.

‘Finally!’ he mumbled as he pulled the offending shoes out of the black hole that was the wardrobe.

505050

Steve walked back to the bathroom and popped his head around the door.

He smiled when he saw Grace in the bath, bubbles right up to the rim, stroking Noah, who was resting his head on the side of the tub.

‘Hey Gracie, time to get out, we have to go in an hour.’ Steve said with a smile.

505050

‘Uncle Steve, where are we?’ Grace asked as they pulled up outside a big stone building.

‘It’s a surprise.’ Steve replied.

They walked up towards the entrance of the building and Steve opened the door, ushering Grace into the darkness inside.

He flicked on the lights, knowing what was about to happen and smiling to himself.

‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRACE!’ the people in the building shouted.

Grace jumped, startled for a second, before a huge smile broke out across her face.

‘For me?’ she turned to Steve.

‘Yeah for you, but you can’t thank me. I didn’t organise this.’ Steve admitted.

‘Who?’ she asked.

‘Danno and your Mom did, they organised it months ago, and it’s your very first Luau.’ Steve told her.

He knew that the natives didn’t usually throw Luau’s for haoles, but it was something her parents had wanted for her, to help her feel at home here.

As much as Danny had hated Hawaii, he wanted Grace to be happy here.

Steve saw Grace tear up as she smiled.

‘Really?’ she sniffed.

‘Yeah,’ Steve nodded ‘you better thank them, not me.’

He pointed at the sky.

Grace nodded, looking up.

‘Thank you Mommy, thank you Daddy, I miss you but I love my party.’ Grace told them.

Steve smiled, sadly, wishing that Danny and Rachel could be here in person, he knew they were here in spirit.

Grace looked back at him.

‘Now, what do you say we go and greet your friends and Chin and Kono’s abnormally large family.’ Steve shot a pointed look at the older Hawaiian who just shrugged.

505050

‘I love my party,’ Grace told Steve as held her against his chest as they pretended to ballroom dance for the last dance of the night.

Steve could see Chin dancing with Kalei as Kono danced with her father.

‘I know, it’s been a good day.’ Steve agreed, kissing her forehead.

‘I miss them.’ She said quietly.

‘I know you do, I miss them too, but that’s okay. You don’t have to stop missing them.’

Grace nodded ‘I know, I love them. Lily says they know I love them.’

Steve smiled ‘Lily’s right, they know how much you love them, and they’ll always be with you. Forever.’

‘I love Noah too.’ Grace said thoughtfully.

‘That’s good.’ Steve laughed, that dog was going to become the bane of his existence.

‘But, I love you too Uncle Steve. Is that okay?’ she asked, suddenly unsure.

She looked up at him from underneath her eyelashes.

‘Of course that’s okay, I love you too Gracie. All the world and back again.’ Steve gave her a squeeze.

Grace threw her arms around his neck, hugging him.

‘Thank you for letting me live with you,’ she whispered ‘I love you Uncle Steve.’

Steve closed his eyes, holding her to him, suddenly feeling like a father.

He would never replace Danno, he wouldn’t want to.

But he would try and be the best ‘substitute’ father as he possibly could.

He suddenly understand the love that meant you would kill for your children.

And all of a sudden Steve knew, no matter what, he would go through hell for this little girl.

For Grace.

‘Li'ili'i Kaikamahine.’ Steve muttered to himself.

Even with her head buried in his neck, Steve felt Grace smile.

50505050

_‘It's gonna get harder still_

_Before it gets easy_

_You can't keep safe what wants to break_

_I'm alone in this_

_I'm as I've always been_

_Right behind what's happening_

_She's all lost in this_

_She's all like she'll always be...’_


End file.
